Monday, May 17, 2004

"The Travails of Single South Indian men of conservative upbringing" or "Why we don't get any..."

Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway. What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kandus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)

Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Nepean Sea Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls.

Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa we have named him Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.

If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er.. hello..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a braindead dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.

Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However the northy just has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping we are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention. The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)

How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon yellow rib hugging t shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white trainers a la Rajni in "Badsha".

Sociologically too the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks.

Alas dear friends we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."

In one last effort here we attractive young men have taken on alter egos which may interest some of you women:

1. Gautam Kumar Raja, will now be known as Joshua Perreira
2. Sidin Sunny Vadukut, henceforth will be known as Dev Chopra
3. Ashwath Venkataraman is now Vijay Desai
4. Sudarshan Ramakrishnan no more, from now he is Barath Sharma
5. Gautam Chandrasekharan will now respond to Alyque Shah

Do mail me any time for a meeting with one of the above. One week notice if Italian or Chinese food is involved, or if the individual is expected to dance.

264 comments:

1 – 200 of 264   Newer›   Newest»
Mansur said...

Absolutely hilarious da :)...now I know it's my parents fault...

Anonymous said...

Gawd, you're priceless!
:)
Loved this piece .. and related to it soo much! Glad Abhijit suggested I read it.
Cheers,
A fellow bewildered Mallu.
Ronald

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ronaldphilip/

Anonymous said...

Awezommm!!!!!!!!btw what does sidin mean?

Power Luster said...

Dude! Amazing. Now I know why no amount of "dudes" I manage to include in my conversations bears any fruit. Did somebody say whats in a name?

Mani (Kandan P.B. :-(()

Anonymous said...

woah FatCat... who be you to use my name in vain?!?!#! not that I'm complaining.

--- a suddenly irresistible Joshua Perreira

Vinit Bhansali said...

A gem.

Anonymous said...

really really nice....infact amazing!!! got the link from ronald's blog....
Divya, IIMK

Anonymous said...

Awesomely written.... hilariously true!!!
-- Samster (got link from moltensilicon)

Anonymous said...

True.. but not so true either.. I am very attracted to a guy who isnt fairer than I am..doesnt show more skin... & who understands my poda's. & cheee's.... but the hair & teeth could do with a little tweaking.. & wearing ur underwear at the beach.. doesnt really count as sex appeal.. coconut oil notwithstanding.
Southie babe...

Anonymous said...

god level humour d00d !! :))..ROFL..lucky me..Suhas doesnt sound all tht "given-up" !!...heard my grandpa wanted to name me Venkatachala Rao....so an escape by the skin of my teeth !!hehehe.....after reading the peice i almost called up my mom& dad for the thanks long over due !! :-p...

Suhas...!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey dont be so upset, conservative gujju families are equally bad too, all the pronounciations tht gujjus have and talk about "eating snakes" shall scare the feminine species away.
any way nice sense of humour, look forward to interacting with u at iima
(ur humour might still get u away from women because few can understand the non slapstick variety ... my experience)

nirav

Anonymous said...

ROTFL!!
gawd! this rocks. Not entirely true now though. The guys (and increasingly girls) just shorten and americanize their names :-)
What does Sidin mean??

- Suze (aka Sujatha)

http://sine-qua-non.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Dude,

You rock. Really well worded.

But dude, its ALL in your mind. :-) You are what your limiting beliefs are!

Just a thought..
Apka pyara faccha :-)

Anonymous said...

dude
when can i buy the book

damn it fatcat now that you are selling medicines in mumbai you should try selling these to some publishers.... and use the proceeds to feed your fans on campus

hoga

Anonymous said...

The name my grandparents gave me: Venkata Shankara Subramaniam :( Luckily my parents gave me a much shorter name that has stuck:Guhan! You are priceless man! Keep going!

Anonymous said...

Oh well awesome post. I can vouch for most of the points there. Hv been suckin up in Mallu-land for the past 3 and half years you see ;-)
But Sidin, you missed out Rakesh Balachandran aka ? ;-)
Rgds,
Anil
http://maverick.pagalguy.com (hehe I know Im shameless :P)

Anonymous said...

Oh and btw I forgot to mention my complete name.
Gorti Anil Kumar Mahadevam , guess a lil short for a gulti name. :P
Rgds,
Anil
http://maverick.pagalguy.com (Once shameless, always shameless :P)
Hey do visit my nonsense blog all those who read this ya!! ;-)

Famished Artist said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I seriously haven't laughed this much in months. Thanks for making my day. As far as the chinese food is concerned, count me in. I'm a 5 minute drive away from the IIM-A campus.

A Telegu guy who shares the sentiment, :-D

Arcot Raghunath Hemant
(http://n3urotica.blogspot.com)

Abhinay said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

oh and as far as chinese goes..i axully live/lived on campus and am one of hemant's frenz...used to live on campus coz dad's a prof but dont nemore coz am in uni...but back this summer..chinese sounds good!!

(http://the-xcentric.blogspot.com)

Abhinay said...

hilarious...so sad and yet so true...oh and the above post was by me as well..for some reaosn it was annonynous..

Anonymous said...

Hey Sidin,
Lovely post man! Got it by mail, and googled the title to find your blog.
However I come from a world where the Venkatasubramaniam Swaminathan Swamy's have much more fun (women-wise) than the Amit Thakkar's.
My take on the same problem: Rants from a Single Guy(As shameless as the rest)
Rajesh J Advani

Anonymous said...

Well... going after Poojas, Tinas and Ritas, leaving Manimegalais and Angayarkannis... well well... ;)

Hats off to ur sense of humor :)

Indyan said...

;-) Hilarious Piece Sidin, You have truly encapsulated the predicament of mallus and tams ;-).But anyway Sidin is a nice name.It has a decent chance against Singhs and Kulkarnis ;-D.

thambi said...

someone said u shud thank ur stars for a name like 'Rajhesh';
my name still reads Rajhesh Panchanadhan;
a low sounding THUD ricochets from 1977. I could hear it.

Thank god my name is not Blossom BabyKutty or Innocent Kumar or like my neighbour in Trichy, Xylophone (he was named straight from the dictionary)

Anonymous said...

He He He.........Seriously am still laughing. Hilarios post.

Prithesh
http://prithesh.blogdrive.com

Anonymous said...

Wonderfull...... As some wise guy before me said, Why dont you start selling these to publishers ????

Kiran

helicaltwang said...

Drool!
Really cool post, man. I guess you cud publish them as an assorted collection of essays, anonymously ;)

Megha said...

Now now, its not as hopeless as it sounds.. :)

A Venkateswarulu who's willing to share his idli and tomato rasam with me gets my vote any day over black-leather-sporting Aryans and Rajs gyrating in discos!

While my parents were kind enough to name me Megha, being a southie gal, I have a zillion middle names as well. The Seetaraamamma Ventakaramani et al portion was kept a closely guarded secret by choice.. however when people discovered it, they always thought it was 'sooo sweet!' and so 'adorably southie babe-like'. Then why the bhed bhav for the Balaraam Paalaasamudrams and Suryanarayana Domalapudis? Not a fair world that we live in, methinks!

Megha
Shameless self-promotion -(http://yumnyum.blogspot.com/)

Anonymous said...

Absolutely awesome! I can much appreciate what you say. A am a South Indian myself and currently in Northern California. While at graduate school in Illinois, my roommates (all Southies) and I formed a mock group called "SINGAM" (or lion for those non-Tamil understanding folks). It stood for South Indian Gay Asian Males, since it was difficult to get dates at Grad School. And by the way, none are/were gay. Keep rocking. If you have the time, check out www.badmash.org too.

Anurag said...

That was real funny.

http://anuragjain.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hey Sidin!

Its me William... I dunno if you remember me, but i met you with a very drunk Sreeram (who notwithstanding, inter alia, his nomenclature and his capacity, or rather lack thereof, for alcohol, seems to be getting some)at Mondy's, Mumbai (Is that where you got the chance to check out the comparative strike rate of Singhania's and John's?). Was sent this link by a close freind of mine who sent this link saying "Go here.
Read this. Laugh a lot :)"... which is precisely what i did.... Wish i'd got to meet up and chat with you for longer... if you are still selling scrotal defect remedying medicines in Mumbai, call me, let's meet up for a drink or something...

(fortunatley named, Tamilian Christian)
William John (Could have easily been Peter Selvadorai :-D

Anonymous said...

absolutely awesome, u really need to start compiling these into a book.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely wonderful article..anyway nice piece..ATB for future..Hey BTW SIDIN also has a stand among the Northie's

Anonymous said...

Sidin,

I would like to disagree with your thoughts regarding nomenclature (As you call it !) affecting one's chances of hooking up with some good babes or getting noticed for that matter.Sorry but that only seems like something that we have made up and got it in our heads and it's also probably an inferiority complex that some of us suffer from. This mainly stems from the fact that south indians are dravidians and northies are aryans(and hence with fairer skin).

Whatever it is, I definitely dont agree with your analysis on this and believe otherwise. I think it is you as a person who gives an impression and your name carries that impression to a certain extent.

Sorry if I sound a little boring.

Cheers and Have fun !
A South Indian (kandu)

Found any dates for your dinner yet ? ;-)

Srinivas said...

Hats off dude

Kotamarthi Naga Siva Srinivas (another one of those)

Anonymous said...

I cant make out what sidin could stand for. But that's immaterial here though. Then I cant make out why women like a thapar or a karan who frequent discos and are famous for one-night stands and are erotic and enamouring and ... God knows what else. But that may also be immaterial here. And then, I cant make out, what could be in a name to a woman : why a woman would be foolish enough to hear a venkatachalapathy and run off as if he wasn't male enough; or why she would prefer a guy reckless enough to run off with the next beautiful girl he sees at a disco; or perhaps why she would be as reckless herself in any other way. But that's also seemingly immaterial here. If you've already gotten bored of the word "immaterial", then I'll still use for anything further I may write...:). That's because this article was meant to convey hilarity of the topmost order. And it did. A real Good one. I'm waiting for another hilarious repost. Might make one and put in onto the board one day, if I do make it of course.

wondering if I should change my name,
(And then, laughing it off - the crap concept that conveys hilarity),
narasimham

Psst. I dont mind loosing the girl kind that runs of at a name or a non-denim....that 'coz they dont last or linger....they only do until the next denim-clad comes in.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Makes a good reading on a lazy afternoon.
Hey, btw: couldn't help but notice, u r popularity is growing among Men! - Jo.

anantha said...

Hmmm, as a RC (Romantically Challenged, if you want to know what it stands for) TamBram guy who shortened, with some help from some friends, a name thats as long as Ananthanarayanan Kootala Subramanian, to aNTi, I have to agree with a lot of what you have to say. But I would also like to add this. Most of us Tams and Mallus lose all the firmness of the knee and go all wobbly at the sight of a specimen of the female sub species. But the law of conservation of firmness does hold true ;) Ahhh.. the follies of pre-marital love :D lol
Anyways, ur face looks a lot familiar or mebbe I just want it to be familiar :D. Me from that dust bin of a college that was like 20 km due east from Thuvakudi, Shanmugha College of Engg.

Anonymous said...

Hey rocking post!
I got it thru a forward and googled my way here (I do anything, absolutely anything to avoid working).
But you know, women don’t have it so easy either ...I used to know this girl called Hepsiba (she was popularly known as Pepsi ), another called Timsy ( doesnt that sound like a nice, sweet, doggie name?)...all the Mahalaksmis of the world end up as a Maha ( doesn’t that always give the picture of an XXL, although the person in question might be diminutive, petite girl?) . Also I remember I had to meet someone called Raka once – I was expecting a six footer, macho, robust sardar but it actually ended up being a dainty girl – oh and when she was getting married, her husband-to-be when distributing the cards was consistently asked by everyone whether he was getting into a gay marriage.
Ah well, such is life !
Cheerio
A Cynic In Wonderland
http://solitarycynic.rediffblogs.com/

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Came here thru a fwd.. real hilarious piece you have there :-).. but it's not entirely true.. I have a couple of suave TDH southy friends who can make girls swoon all over them even if they have a tongue twisting name ;-).

Twilight Fairy
http://twilightfairy.rediffblogs.com

Srinivas said...

Amazing! Vist mine http://srini-danger.blogspot.com
Had tried some humour of my own.

Srini (Kotamarthi Naga Siva Srinivas, one of those South Indian men)

Ranjith said...

Hey Sidin,

Fantastic post!! I sent this out to a bunch of people in office and there laughter across the floor.

Very well written and the humor was fabulous.

Ranjith

(a fellow mallu) :)

harry said...

hey sidin,
cool one da..just now saw the article in PG..
my friend mailed me your Blog..
cheers,
haripi2

Anonymous said...

lmao! Right on!

gultis are also part of South India :)


cheers
GVSCS
(just the initials coz am too tired to type my full name)

Anonymous said...

This was absolutely brilliant and hilarious. Passed it on to all the South Indian men I know.The Gults, however, have a grouse. How could you have left them out? I am quoting from their replies:
"You forget names like Medikonda Jahnavi chandra prasad or Prashad and Bandi Maruthi Maheshwara Sarma."

Another one said:
Hehehe. :-)) Good one.
The guy forgot to include the Gults though. How do the names
"LakshmiParthasarathy Vemulavaada", "Venkata Satyanarayana Pucchalapalli" or
"Ramanaaga Phanindra Gottumukkula" sound? :-)

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Hi Sidin
Me a newbie as a Blogger..
Superb da...

hema said...

That was an absolute riot! Being a Bangalore-bred Tam Brahm female, I completely understand your ire. Found myself laughing my head off in most places and nodding my head in acquiescence at many others. But trust me, women who fancy the Singhs and Khannas clad in their fish net vests and see through shirts, who drive Hundai accents that scream Ferrari on the rear screen, think of pizza as the height of gastronomic coolness, and guffaw at their own jokes, are best left hanging on the brawny, tattooed arms of other men. Real women always pick real men!

Mohit said...

O ye cruel people south of vindhyas , u 've given an excuse to ur sons on being stags.But what do thousands of us northies say when all parties we've ever attended have been unisexual....hey give us some excuse to save our face too...pls

Ravages said...

Hey! I read this great amazing piece first of Aqua's blog, and then linked to it on mine. I must say this is the funniest piece ever I have read in Blog-o-land.
Being Chandrachoodan Gopalakrishnan (Tam Bram, with malllu Palaghta bram blood thrown in), I can categorically say this is in no way offensive and is hilariously funny.
Thanks a million man, for lighting up my day.

Visit me at Selective Amnesia

Anonymous said...

Hey dude,
Awesome!! was really nice:)
But atleast I think when it comes to getting married gals do like south indian men.
Quit worrying dude.

Anonymous said...

Excellent! As everybody else is saying, all of this should go into a book.

Anonymous said...

u need to look into culture ,north is more westernised .
have to agree with longer naming stuff.it doesnt matter if ur southie or northie ,wat matters for a girl is wat stuff a guy really has(hey pervs stop... i meant the heart.. lol)

kaatss said...

Hehehe....sorry state with my name too, it was supposed to be Karthik Narayanan Venkatachalam Iyer..????....but my dad decided to change it as Venkatesh....phew...save some extra 6 characters :)

Anonymous said...

Good language...but...
Stupid & contradictory perspective !!!!

Wondering why people are characterising the life style
of southindians by rolemodeling that of tamil brahmins...though they cover 3% of total ......


Sidin...Have a shover in cold water...

Anonymous said...

Classic piece - self-deprecating humour at its best! My gfriends also pointed out the effect of the moustache-with-no-other-facial-hair-look, ie. making a guy appear to be an 'out of work porn star' - very important point for the gals and a key impediment for the guys!

mrinalini said...

hi,
priceless piece of writing, and now i know why I am still single. But why not see the other side of the table where prefectly amazing women too have similar nomenclature and suffer. i luv my name but then not every one seems as keen. My CEO tried to shorten my name to MK and when I refused him such privilages, insists on mauling the name to obscenity. Being the only woman in the entire mech engg dept meant that i got called by my surname and Bschool insited on the shortcut as it was easier on the winpopup. knowing tht there are others who have similar problems really puts a balm on the wound.
Got ur post as a forward in my trainee batch mail and its a real talking point, totally infested by mallus as it is. have fun.

Anonymous said...

Hey,

This is your brand new fachcha at IIM-A (Brahmakulathkalarikkal Ratnakaran Rejoy Kurup) reporting for duty. Hilarious post but don't you think that poor Sardarni's face a similar problem too. This cute babe walked into my office & guess what her name was...Gurvinder Kaur Bath. :P
Surely ruins the dreamy-eyed romance, doesn't it??

Keep Rockin
Rejoy

Venusian said...

Fabulous post --- :)

Anonymous said...

Although there are other factors, the nomenclature is a major turn down! Wonderfully written. Laughed my bottom off!!
Mathivanan Subramanian...
A fellow southie & RECTian.

Nakul Shenoy said...

Hi,

That was simply too good an article.

Enjoyed it thoroughly... so much that I blogged it at my LiveJournal.

Thanks,

Nakul

Anonymous said...

Awesome!
Plain and simple awesome!
A 10 on the Laffs scale. Priceless.

~h~

Manu said...

outstanding stuff...adi poli mone dinesha!!could have done with a little bit of editing methinks. http://sirsatan.rediffblogs.com/

Anonymous said...

really well written.. Hats off! (or shud be somethin else) As far as nomenclature goes, Like the southies, the sardars are in a class of their own..

- Harmanpreet Singh Sachdeva

Anonymous said...

hmmm.. Good article, but then its not get into too much of North is more western etc. See Sidhin, North has lots of caste probs. In case you think that you are handsome (with refernce to Kunjagoo Boban or Suresh Gopi), then plz remember that you might be rejected becuase u r not a brahmin :-) Even in Mallu Land, yu have the syrian christians not marrying jacobites and *.. So Kindly donot expect too much modernity from Northie galz. All suranmes you have mentioned are upper caste.

On the other hand, you see all 'North Men', run after Videshi Mem. Its I think the desire of the men to have a lady who are a shade fairer than them....

On Names, women are supposed to be soft/gentle and kind. so they have sweet names. Well names donot mean anyhting, Here in Mallu Land I have seen Hindu names for christains!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant!
I've not laughed so much since Hugh Gallagher's college essay.
I've linked to you from my blog. Thanks for making my day.

A fellow sufferer.
Gokulnath Kollayikal

Sinfully Pinstripe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sinfully Pinstripe said...

Ahh.... not so quickly, monsigneur..... at least the southie brethren are better off, your name, uncute or otherwise, could be pronounced... eventually.....

We poor Bongs Males don't have a shot in hell..... Tell me, who has ever pronounced a bong name right? And it is certainly nice to tell to your friends that your girlfriend is not Aparna but 'Oupourna'.... So the eastern senoritas are on the safer side.....but how on earth does a southie belle (and so gorgeous they are)... go tell her mom that her boyfriend's name is Soumya? Ah, the hue and cry about the daughter turning lesbian, which generally is the first reaction..... And then, when the storm has settled a bit, "No Amma, it is a guy, Soumya is a guy's name in Bengal.... and pronounce it shoummow......plz" .... HELLO!!!!!

The grass is always greener on the other side, trust me

Anonymous said...

kewl very kewl.
U guys have it this difficult? But how can anyone beat ( i for one can't) the allure of a seemingly uninitiated southie with his dusky sandalwood smeared forehead, thick curly oily hair and exotic names that sound as if they are the hero of a thousand legends, their unquestioning devotion to all things tamil ( of course we mallus r an exception here). May be all it takes is some aggressive positioning

Anonymous said...

It is hard to find, my dear friend, the literate man north of the Vindhyas :) Or a man with sophistication and a sense of humor. That is why the joke flows this way, eh? In other words, if the humor were reversed, it wouldn't be funny, because to laugh at this, you need a sense of humor. And above all, to be literate :)

The style of humor goes back a century ago, and P.G. wodehouse would find it incredible that his legacy of extended "joke"s and "forced laughter" continues. After about five lines, I am, like, I get the point, so what else do you have to say? It is one long joke, eh?, at the expense of other people. Which is why women above a certain age are going to find this incredibly funny. I see incredible success with this brand of humor among the above 130 crowd. Years of age - not letters in the name :)

To see how a long South Indian name is no barrier to rockin' it up, check out the Bay Area or New Jersey. The South Indians are considered more intellectual, but the South Indian-Americans, gosh, what hotties!!!

madhusudhan said...

Great Humor Dude. Superb wording.

Jupe said...

All i can say is "Hear hear hear" - For any doubting Thomases, send them across to me -> venkatasubramanian.ramakrishnan@wotever.com - N that was just my email id, so try guessing my real name :-)
Keep penning Sidin

Anonymous said...

extremely well-written indeed.
amazing how we indians have all these stereotypes drilled into our heads isn't it?:)

hope u dont mind me linking this article on my blog.

Shradha
www.livejournal.com/users/shradha

Anonymous said...

Good article, really humorous...
But dude, you have a very narrow view point .[period].
What you are trying to convey is, just because tams ve got those funny names, they just can't manage to get a girlfriend or what? You know what, the northie names you ve used in this article are equally funny. :)
Are you one of those guys who think 'Its high time India should split'?

- Sunil

(Can you can't figure out whether I am a northie or a southie from my name? ;-))

Anonymous said...

chootia madarchod bhainchod kutta kamina salla bhootnekaa AIDS ka maaara!

Manish said...

Dude, you have committed a serious crime: Your post does not show up in Mozilla-based web browsers. :)

Explanation: Your page is XHTML 1.0 Strict, for which Mozilla does strict parsing of HTML comments (nested comment are allowed).

Solution: Save the page, edit the HTML file to remove the first line (the DOCTYPE declaration), save the changes, then view the page.

I hope this will help some of your readers. BTW, nice write-up!

Anonymous said...

I would prefer a southie babe to a northie one.
She applies coconut oil on her pitch black hair every day after taking bath which is odorous of course, hmmmmm :-( but its better than northside where girls seldom bathe ;-)

Parthasarathy Venkatachalapathy - aka - Venky

Anonymous said...

Dear Sad Southey,


Since you're a self admitted celibate, workaholic dutiful southy male, you fit all the fantasies of some of us bored, urban, sophisticated women, provided you meet the following specifications:

1. promise to have smooth, oily hair on head

2. no hair on small, well curved bottom

3. can squeak well if bottom is roundly smacked

And since by definition, you can't promise to deliver on anything, even the above, please also bring with you a plate of curd rice and papaddams, the curly white ones, and the ball shaped spicy ones...which could more than make up the absence of the specified ass.

I'll tell you why.


In the head of most urbane, fed-on-stud-diet types, lives a fanstasy...of being Mrs. Robinson. Of having a zimple, drivelling, stick-figure like mild mannered adoring young boy we can slap around, whip, make cry, get to crawl, roll on the floor etc...without pictures being published in all the papers and being unfairy compared to the perpetrators of Abu Gharib type torture...

Because we're sick of surfing the world wide whet for zero-appetite pale white arses meant for gay men to drool over...

Because we've already screwed all the available and un-available north indian men and women...


So walk in with your red or green chequed lungi and white banyan...but don't forget the curd rice and papaddams.


Signed,


Miss London
Ex Abu Gharib

Anonymous said...

Very witty, and enjoyed it, really creacked me up a few times. You are the bomb diggidy dude...keep that pen flowing.

--Another Mallu Guy with a funny name
Liji Jinaraj.
PS. Did bag a cuttie though :)

Anonymous said...

Ajay Sandhir and Ajay Kukreja..... Read this article....
I hate you guys, you are real screwballs.

A South Indian. [And proud of being one]

Anonymous said...

it takes all types ...

Anonymous said...

Cool stuff and how true

Anonymous said...

lies, lies, lies. and i'll take one of those idlis with tomato rasam (heavy on the garlic) served by a diffident, dark and high-cheekboned thamizhar (resembling ajju in his youth). preferably one who has a zha in his name.

a thamizh "jatin" deserves ostracization, if not a bitch slap.

Tarun said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tarun said...

You have hit a couple of nail right on the head.

Your nomenclature will cause you few problems in getting that dream job - Mr. Sin, a few years ago became top dog in the Catholic Church in the Philippines - he was called Cardinal Sin (And he then chose to remain celibate for the rest of his natural existence). Nirodh Kumar didnt have a problem either, this illustrious northie grew to be quite famous in the Indian Army, despite being the butt of several jokes.

Our Southie names can be worked around though, Subramaniam, wanted to make his name easier for his yankee freinds and took to calling himself Subra-maniam, this however got shortened to an All-American Subra hypen.

In Australia, my anglo-saxon colleague has taken to calling Viknaswaran Subramaniam - a coded V25 S32. Has this done anything for Vik's ability to get a little bling-bling - I have no idea and would believe it hasnt one bit. Vik's only chance as you said is to call himself Jon Sebestian.

Anonymous said...

great reading ... one more in the tradition of the laugh-at-me kind of humour in english by a south indian ... something of a cross between rk narayan and sue townsend ... kind of shows which end of the spine most south indian male blood (?!) spends its time at ;)

--
ranganath ramachandra
(my real name, im not making it up!)

Anonymous said...

Cool Man,

Thts some article..

Keep up the NIce work :-)

Avi said...

Hey dude,
Me have just a tiny little Avinash Iyer, a big time compression after what could potentially have been Thiruvidaimadudur Anantharamakrishna Rajaraman!!

And the shortening was done by my dad!!

But then, my dad lived most of his life up north, hence I wont count him among the Tambi/Mone's dads of this world!! :)

Great piece dude.... keep it up!

--Avi

Anonymous said...

It was worth the effort, considering that the link was another of the FWDs that are being circulated in the endless-meaningless group mails.
However stark the reality is, I would like to add a couple of lines. " The grass is greener on the other side" - a popular axiom, which is so apt in this case.
Also, after reading all the pronouncable names, it strikes me if the majority of the targeted audience are the white people ( or anybody not familiar with Indian names)?? I, for one, feel that one must take pride in one's name, be it long or in their own langauge and not change it for a reason, which when you look back after a couple of years makes you laugh at yourself.
IF you are not able to approach a girl coz' your name is too big or is a tongue-twister, dont change the name, change your way of approach. One good idea would be using initials. After spending my schooling years in Madras with lot of Karthiks and Aruns in the class, the best way to remember who-did-what was to remember them by their initials. That might be the solution in this case.
Good luck!
- BV

Anonymous said...

Thought I needed Counceling, but now I know that it was my parents and biology after all :)! Good piece dude, keep writing

Anonymous said...

Very funny article!!

What sucks the most about having a long southie name in this day and age is having to fill out your email address on a form. It often doesnt fit in the space provided and you have to start thinking of creative ways to squeeze it in. kaushik.ramakrishnan@blahblahblah.com

--Kaushik Ramakrishnan

Anonymous said...

Wait for a few years, and there will be only Dev Chopras and Alyque Shahs.

Anonymous said...

THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER READ!!! I'd go as far as putting it up there right with all the BEST Wodehouse I've ever read!! The post deserves it and a LOT more!! :Dsd

Sarika

Anonymous said...

Dude - you rock. That was absolutely hilarious. You have to be a South-Indian to truly understand. Here in the U.S., names get really TWISTED AROUND to lighten the burden on the Americans. I include some examples.

Murugan Saravanan = Morgan S
Bharathan = Bret
Magaral Subramanian = Max
Vinodh Kannan = Vin (Just missing a Petrol or Diesel to make this guy a hollywood name)

And Finally, myself - Vikraman Selvarajan, simply referred to as VICK (Courtesy, Michael Vick, Quarterback - Atlanta Falcons, NFL)

I did however, manage to talk my way out of nature's equivalent of a wet-blanket and the results, I must say haven't been too bad.

Remember fellow south indians, a Nadanasabapathy can still compete on language - If you can say 'DUDE' instead of "DHOODH", or 'What's up' instead of "WHADS UP", you can still salvage something. If you dont use 'bloody bugger' or intersperse your sentences with 'thoda' or 'kalti', you can get away with a little 'teddy-talk' as I call it.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious piece dude! U probably forgot about the Telgu's who would possibly having the longest names in India, Vengipurapu Venkata Sai Laxman being one of the shorter ones ... But do you think a long name would stop you from getting any? We southies are armed with a magic mahalingam which works wonders on women. Any virile hottie would view a long named southie as "if his name is this long, imagine how long would the mahalingam be .... hmmmm". It's about walking the walk and talking the talk and then mahalingam can be in business .... Easily!! Long name or short name or no name at all ...

Cheers, Uday Kumar (half Mallu but my dad had the sense to change the family name before joining the navy .. hahaha)

Anonymous said...

Yo..
This article was cool.. Enjoyed reading this. But, not all the things mentioned are cool.
Me being a South Indian having VERy Long name does not fit in this category.. Not me.. There might be some other dudes...
Not this Telugu guy

Anonymous said...

wooow gud yar

Anonymous said...

Good reading. Yes sadly the Madrasis stand out. It is almost a culture shock ...
-Raghavendran

Anonymous said...

hey Sidin,
The travails thingie is a truy candid piece...though i agree with the general indian girl's leaning towards a northie...the reason is not just the name alone...
as has been my experience, i have seen north girls generally preferring a northie, of course a fair punju or a bong or a marathi...i'm surprised at the way how southie gals also do the same...they feel speaking hindi is a pseud thing just like speaking english (i'm talking abt the language part..)..
and u see because of their fairer compelxion, northies luk better...but the moment u start accepting the compelxion, i guess its all the same....i still resent southie gals rooting for northies...but the guys are noway behind...we go after north gals...
it shud be accepted that north indians are generally more liberal compared to southies...the way they network, take part in extra-currics (southies generally more tech oriented)...and especially in a national level institute where majority of the northies are from metrtos, whereas we south indians are from all the places...
it is our educational backgrd also that is to be blamed....ours is more acad oriented...the rules in the school etc create a more separatist attitude among boys n gals...

well just some reflections after having had a decent college hostel life (for 6 years) at national level colleges...lots of research has been going on in the boys hostel rooms of various colleges :))

Anonymous said...

Hi... enjoyed your stuff thru a e-mail i got. me too iima alumnus, south indian, been there, done that and all..
It'd be nice to rock in the disco and have a bevvy of punju girls
drooling all over
BUT
travelling back, a chennai type, I could'nt let go of the preference for
following:

curly hair glistening in oil ( catheridne if you like), thick mush,
gleaming white
teeth ( only stuff visible in darkness), lungi, appreciation of the
plump, leaving
a look at 'figures' in pavadai dhavani ( look vuddarathu), selling
peanuts to the
previously mentioned ( kadalai vikkarathu), mgr, rajnikanth,goundamani,
senthil,
spiral purottas soaked in kuruma, jasmine , oil headbath, math, rank,
multicolor striped shirts, big
belts with embedded metal rings, speeding on a cycle, leaving the handle
and
carrying on nonchalantly when one of the previously mentioned types is
coming across the
road, roadside tea, keerai vadai, kadi jokes, machaan macchi talks,
opportunity search in temple,
thiruttu Dhum, trying to strike friendship with previously mentioned
type's father,
dappangutthu, raasaave/ raasaathi songs of illayaraja, feeling sad in
the beach,
growing a beard in disillusioment, trying to get the better of the auto
driver, living in dread
of the 'Anna' word, second show, a ride back on a truck, footboard
travel in pallavan, bournvita.........

Do you think I'd have had a chance
warm regards
Sridhar
sridhara@ntlworld.com

Anonymous said...

You guys are such LOOSERS!!

Anonymous said...

Well said and well analysed.

~S

Anonymous said...

What a cracker! Totally relate to it mate! I went to school with a Mundassery Venketeshwara Veda Vyasa Pai and i would be surpried if he even managed a snog from a lass with that name! She'd probably on the bus to bombay by the time he is finished the Venke...bit. And my sister is named Zeruyah and by brother is Hanosh. I narrowly escaped being called Zebelon. Totally relate! You've got a way with words! Get printed! Thomas Vincent

Anonymous said...

Simbly Awesome ya..keeb it coming ya

Anonymous said...

hey sidin,
that was truly a hilarious peice, didnt know u guys are having such a tough time finding someone for urselves..... but whats wrong with southie babes....why r u guys busy drooling over punju and gujju gals ??? huh..... well i wud anyday prefer to start my day with idli sambhar and have aviyal and paruppu usili for lunch and have ada pradhaman for dessert, look for a guy who has got more "kalai" and "tejas" in his face than some dry / drab / girlish looking pink guys....kurta pyajamas can never replace the cute/intellect look a veshti and chandanam gives...... hey come on no one can beat southie men in their sense of humor and easy going attitude.....well... it does make things difficult to call my man by his name, but hey, whats "kanna" & "naadha" & "raja" for...... wud u like to go out on a lunch date with me, sidin?..... :-).....

Anonymous said...

.....and don't forget that you guys smell so much. Curry and shit! Clothes, hair, breath and all. And oh, stop licking your hands while eating and you just may be considered civilized.

Sangria said...

rollicking humor here, although i'll say that south-indian females are not free from the challenges of nomenclature. while meenakshi, sridevi and hemamalini had looks and bodies to compensate and carry them through, a name like Sundari Tribhuvanam is tough to go along with if you don't have even half the looks to match it.

This email has undoubtedly invited some brickbat like the hateful comment just above-
But relax people- no need to get defensive or offensive about this. take it with the lightness that its written in.

Anonymous said...

sorry 2 come in as anonymous but am not a blogger ... hardcore bloggers directed to me this site ... dude all i can say is keep it up man ... this is hilarious ... catch me at saptarshi@gmail.com

just a bong

Anderson said...

My husband wants to name our (unborn) son Montgomery and i will not have the botheration of having to shoo-away girl friends...He wont have any...

Anonymous said...

Hey,

amazing post...a friend sent it to me...rip-roaring, rib-tickling hilarious..never quite looked at it from that perspective...have a long surname...but is definitely not the same as Parthasarathy Venkatachalapathy. So what was the result of the name change??

Southie Belle........

Anonymous said...

If you can introduce even 1/4th of that wit and eloquence in your conversations with the much desired opposite sex,trust a reliable source(that's moi!)-you will have a rocking social life!
-Chandani

Anonymous said...

well, there is one thing u forgot. southies have a fetish for naming their children as owners of other people's "lingams" like- ramalingaswamy - would mean owner of rama's lingam!!!!! thats being unfair to both him and rama.

Just Me said...

Am a Northie in Tamland. Am enjoying the place like anything.. but the one thing that really troubles me is the 'h', 'ee', 'm' becoming 'yem', and mebbe the obsession for 'zh'.

So we have,
Vasanth Vihar
Sangeetha
Vineetha
Jayanthi
Shanthi
Tamizh

Planet M (music) and Planet Yum (food) - to the man on the street here, both these franchises are the same thing.

Oh ! The best one yet, Mahesh is pronounced Maghesh.
Egads.

Anonymous said...


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Anonymous said...

Dude! great post, but i am dissapointed dude, you forgot gultis maaan!. yea now i know why a decent looking guy like me never landed with a girl, and i am so fed up with my name being so long that i prefer when people call me with nicknames(even if they are mocking me)!

you will know how long your name is when you start filling your freaking Passport application not once or twice but 5 times!!! jeez i hated that. And here in the US they ask for your full name and then they realise that it is too long for their system and they shorten it down :( and they messed up my middle and first names totally! damn!

Awesome stuff nevertheless,

Vammy( real name tooooooo long !)

Anonymous said...

Absolutely rocking post! I am checking out the rest of ur creations. Hats off Dude!! Awesome.

Anonymous said...

I thought that people from IIMs are the serious types, am amazed at the humor. very impressive and partly true too!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, It was great (though i dont think it would be true ;-) ).

I have seen many Padmanabhans and Venkatchalams having as many (or maybe more) girls as any Rajs or Aryans.

Great humour. Look fwd seeing more of ur posts.

Rajesh

Anonymous said...

the write up is awsome.. I received this as a forward long time back.. me been reading your blogs for last couple of days (August 2004).. the whole article is amazing.. and so are the other articles. South indian guys .. tambrams especially.. plz do believe that there is more to you guys than your names.
~ Savitha

Anonymous said...

Hi everybuddy,
I dont agree with this. My name is Sreenivasa Rao. If you feel as if the south Indian names sound as such, you should know that out of ten in south India 2 are named as Srinivas. I am doing my PG in IIIT, Bangalore. Here we have 70% Northies in our class. But if you ask for Srinivas, you find no difficulty being directed to me. This is because the type of recognition that I have got of my participation in cultural aspects, sports and even as a good friend.
Name has nothing to do with any thing. See Mr. Narayana Murthy is still "NARAYANA MURTHY". So stop worrying about the name concept. I want myself to be recognized with my name as "SRINIVAS" even though there are lot of srinivas.
Mr. NAGA SIVA SRINIVAS plz dont say like that again.
ok,
all the best,
It is just my opinion,
Sreenivasa Rao Medisetti.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I came across your blog on the "The Travails of Single South Indian men of conservative upbringing" somewhere in the cyberspace...I believe it was on a Ryze network. Your thoughts have sure travelled some!

I am a mallu too and I loved the way you have written your piece. Good work and keep it coming.

Visit my Ryze page at www.ryze.com/annarins

Cheers,
Anna

Anonymous said...

hey dude just too good...
well i'm a fellow south indian (well kandu from b'lore) and "blessed" with a shorter name.
but ur article has surely opened a new avenue to make money... providing babe starved mallus and tams with
great beauties..

so guys be ready with ur moolah

cheerz
aheesh

kalpana said...

hey!
reading this for the second time. first time on a blog, so now i know where to comment:) needless to say, the hilariously self-depracating style of writing is loved by anybody with a halfway decent sense of humour. but i should tell u that nomenclature has little to do with sex appeal of men, south indian or otherwise. married to sivananda ramnath, i'm in a good position to vouch for that:)the brainy, intelligent, witty types do turn women on (i'm sure u know that by now;))
but yes, do keep on writing such stuff. makes for a great way to end the day, start the day, stall the day, whatever...

Anonymous said...

Dear dude,

Am from assam and I had a lot of mallu guys as pals in college and my steady gal was a tam bram!!! So, I get where you are coming from. It sounds good and is a hilarious read, but my pals had some stupendous names and they snagged more galz than any northie pal of mine or any that I could see.
By the way, the bong dude, "soumya" has got it totally right!!! The grass is truly green on the other side. But my congrats anyway, what is IIMA's gain is the loss of the publishing world. You have a truly innovative streak or writing flair in you. Keep it up.
Love
Dabz

Ruchi said...

I had someone send this to me a couple of months ago, and I only just stumbled upon your blog.
Pretty awesome writing... and cmon, after reading this, you _can_ get any!

Nakul Shenoy said...

Hi Sidin,

Received your post as a forwarded mail, again, after all this time... So thought I would thank you again for a wonderfully-written amusing anecdote, if indeed it can be termed as one!

Thanks for making my day, again.

Nakul

Anonymous said...

Nicely written and very true. There was a strange problem involving certain Delhi-based dudes and dudettes when I went to college in BITS Pilani. They used to look good and much better than I did or cared to, but if they opened their mouths to speak, it was like sewage! So don't give up on the gel and keep up on the humor level, and avoid going to the gulf.

Anonymous said...

hey,
A friend sent me here..I now see why. Interesting post. May be true. But debatable. You might want to reconsider your views after you read my take on Mallu men. http://whichwitch.rediffblogs.com/2004_16_05_whichwitch_archive.html#1084982560

Love,
Ashtoreth.
(http://whichwitch.rediffblogs.com)

Anonymous said...

hey that was some travails!!neways i think a rose wud smell as sweet whatever the name.its the name which distinguishes us in this fast paced world.b proud of ur name kid and go into the world with ur head held high!!hope to see more such wonderful blogs from u in future.al the best!!

Nishant said...

truly amazing piece...! thankgod mine is not exactly "sivananda parthasarathi harihara venkatachalapathi"...
keep writing ...they come as a surprise "no class" in between the series of unannounced quizes...

jax said...

the most hilarious blog i've ever read!! keep it up sidin!!

Anonymous said...

reading this just gave me a heads up on why i was repulsed by yoghurt rice type tam bram chaps! it all makes sense now.. and they really have no hope but to try and root for northie women, coz the tam women arent settling for poor little tam boys.

Anonymous said...

Lol, ur article was a wonderful! It brightened a couch potato's fri eve. Anyways, this was such an eye-opener, that hence forth I will give a second thought when I come across a Prarsthy Venkataraman instead of pining after the D Kuchhels in the world!!!!!
Excellent article!

Anonymous said...

Awesome humour! I read this piece on a forwarded mail, didn't know it was yours. Keep up it dude "Dev Chopra"!
---- Maverick
meetmaverick2002@yahoo.com

Sid said...

I had heard of this one from a friend of mine. Stumbled upon it by chance. Abolutely fantastic to read the real one.

keep it up Dev

regards
sid

Anonymous said...

Man you are a genius..!!!!!

Nelly said...

seriously cool. But in Singapore things are a lot easier ;)

Nelly

Anonymous said...

hilarious, man! enjoyed it immensely.
--um..er..Ramprasad Rameshan

Anonymous said...

That was too cool!!!
And the humour comes from the fact that most of it is true!!!

I have sent it almost to everyone i know :D

Superman said...

dude come on atleast tell the ppl u PLAIGERIZED it.

Anonymous said...

I agree with superman that this is plagiarized.. the one that made u so famous!!

Srikanth said...

Uproarious!

Got here from India Uncut.

Saraansh said...

Good one

Brad said...

Came here from Indiauncut(Amit's blog)...Great piece dude.

-Brad Thottatri.

Anonymous said...

Thats one hell of a blog... Man U just rock... I loved it and was able to identify myself with this...

Sandhesh (Alter ego of Unnikrishnan Nair ;-p))

Anonymous said...

Hi all, came here from Amit's blog too. Brilliant piece - loved it. It really explained so much to me. As a European woman scoring cricket, just could not figure out why the boys kept changing their names each game. Sports director got so fed up, he gave all players numbers! Honest!

Some go too far. Venkat's been through 4 changes this season which has done a bit for his average but nothing with the ladies. He says, he'll try Freddy next week, but he will still be 10155 to me.

Anonymous said...

You can this with 2 minds. Have funny heart, you will enjoy.

Have a real complex south india heart, you'll really feel for author, coz of using his parent (or whole family) for his inablity or failures.

Anyway kudos to getting this out of your heart. Atleast, your kids will have a name from north america as even north indian name will be stale for you.

Anonymous said...

I recently got this as a fwd.. I read it and felt I had read it before.. thot maybe I had rcvd as a fwd before.. went thru the comments and saw that couple of ppl mentioned it to be plagiarized.. went home .. went thru a book and there it was... in a book.. !

Not taking anything from u.. this might be plagiarized.. but u do have a great sense of writing as I see from ur other posts... kudos!

Anonymous said...

excellent post da...

Anonymous said...

This was a hilarious piece indeed...but honestly,do u think when gals go for guys,name is an important criteria??..well,i dont..
and i would anyday prefer an honest,easy going southie guy to a flamboyant,overly emotional northie..

une southie belle

Anonymous said...

Your comments are circulating throughout the known South Indian world (UK and US inclusive). Its very cool :-) and most of us can relate to it hahaha

Anonymous said...

machiii..kalasitaa!

Anonymous said...

awesome da... :)
its one of the funniest blogs ive read in a while...keep up the good work!!

Bald_Dog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bald_Dog said...

Great Work I must say really well written and neat. Cant say anything which hasnt been said out here, so just keep up the good work

Muthu said...

I guess you copied the blog,
and large parts of it, without
attribution. Donot revel, in reflected
glory..

maya said...

hi sidin...
that was one hilarious article!!...i have read quite a few humorous articles, but i must say urs takes the cake :D u really do have a great talent sir...it was a pleasure reading sucha witty post :D...

Anonymous said...

I have to say u win hands down...this is absolutely hilarious :)

Anonymous said...

A funny, yet extremely cynical piece. And its not just you southerners, there are kids named things like Lovedeep and Bubblepreet. Makes you wonder exactly what their parents were smoking :P

-Sonam C

Anonymous said...

You know its not all about the name for girls as it is about fair skin and nice figure for guys. By the way 'pretty things'? Perhaps that kind of disrespectful NOMENCLATURE for women is why they won't come near certain people.Any guy who bothers enough to be well mannered, clean and respectful towards women stands a decent chance. I mean it isnt about the names of north Indian guys. Haven't you ever noticed that they tend to be charming and well groomed? And how many of them tend to be in shape? Look at the actors for instance. The out of shape Chiranjeevi against the lean and mean John Abraham. So don't blame it on your parents or on your name. Its all about that part of personality which is concerned with behaviour and interaction. If you find the cause, treat it. If you're so bummed out by your name, change it. And by the way, being ashamed of your culture is another turn off, for a smart woman anyway.

Anonymous said...

accords - acrobat reader - ad aware - adobe - antivir - antivirus - aperitif - astrologie - astuce - astuces - automobile - automobiles - avatar - avg - avp - balance - belier - bitdefender - blague - blagues - boisson - capricorne - caricature - caricatures - carte postale - cartes postales - cillin - clonecd - cochon - cocktail - comique - comiques - confiture - cuisine - curiosites - curseur - curseurs - cuteftp - dessert - desserts - dessin - directx - download - downloads - ecran de veille - ecrans de veilles - edonkey - effet d optique - emoticones - emulateur - emulateurs - emule - firewall - fond - fond ecran - fonds - gastronomie - gateau - gemeau - getright - henne - horoscope - horoscope chinois - horoscope du lion - horoscope vierge - humoristique - humour - icone - icones - illusion - illusion d optique - illusions - illusions d optique - image - images - jeu - jeux - kaspersky - kazaa - kazaa lite - legume - logiciel - logiciels - mcafee

Anonymous said...

That was terrific. I haven't laughed so much in years. You are simply too good. Keep up the good work!

Jaya said...

LOL..LOL..and still laughing..am a tam bram..who totally GETS every word of what u said..albeit am a gal(who also goes by Poorni(ma) at home:P..a near escape from Alamelu)...too good..should pass it on to the poor guys who're still blinking around..wondering why they aint getting any!

Hard core southies are settling down material..not the "have a fling" types i spose..

A friend of mine passed the link on..Ur awesome!!!

Gulam Hasan said...

DUDE DUDE!!! cud u Be more funnier than tht....amazing post man....hats off to u...was ROTFL while i was readin it...truly hilarious

யாத்திரீகன் said...

this post is a sucker.. i didnt know so many ppl didnt knew the difference between a rip rocking humourus post and a crap..

the post shows how much of narrow vision you had..

its such a narrow vision of most of the northies that has kept this country like this still ready to be divided and conquered.. when a guy doesnt knows hindhi he is teased like anything, but there are so many guys who doesnt know that the other guys mother tongue was a 2000 yrs old language and they still arent aware of that.. the narrow vision starts here and goes on everywhere, even into the names.. as you had been..

have you ever noticed that most of the tamilian names nowadays are not using the caste or the group they belong too..

my name is Senthil Kumar and nobody could ever guess my caste or subcaste.. or blah...blah..

but its most of the northi's who are proud to gather themselves in their last name as their caste name.. isnt this a shame... than wearing a lungi and having curdrice..

shame on you guys...

-
????????/Senthil

Anonymous said...

lol, this is hilarious, the comments that is. can you believe that there are jackasses who mistake the post for something serious?? and there are these braindead idiots giving advice as to how reality isn't all that bad and how the female psyche actually works. please, guys!!@#@!
if you want to post a comment and find yourself having views similar to the ones mentioned above, then please understand that sarcasm isn't for you, or maybe you are just too dumb to appreciate such stuff. though i gotta admit, reading the comments was just as funny as reading the post itself.

Sreejith Sasi Mangalath said...

Really funny !!!!
Good one....

Anonymous said...

This is something really awesome!!!!!!!!!!I really am falling short of words to praise it..man!!! ultimate thought and put together in the best possible way I can think of...U are too good SIDIN!!!Am falling for you seriously...or shall I call you DEV CHOPRA...Wonderful keep the good work on!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL That was funny...you just made my day!! Three cheers...

No Name said...

may be it's too late to read u r post .. but i am lucky to read this .. this is awesome ..
keep going ..

bee said...

got the link from rashmi bansal's blog. hilarious piece..

me being a guju who married the eligible south indian (tam) guy - yes.. what's in a name. well. lots of non-southies are i guess waking up to the whole new section of husband-worthy guys of south india who other than typical name have lots of everything else to shower their love..

Anonymous said...

Wow!!!! That was hilarious.
BTW us I found 2day girls (especialy mum girls) prefer Mallu guys all with mustache etc (all mamooty looks) type.
So u shuld be happy "tumhara number bhi aayega"

From,
Mallu Babe

Anonymous said...

Hillarious as hell!!! Cldn't stop rollin gon the ground. Good one Sidin. But i take serious offense to statements made by men that say women don't get humor beyond the slapstick kind!!! Ahrrrrr.....

South Indian Woman

Anonymous said...

Amazing...It was hilarious...Looking for more:-)

Anonymous said...

This is classic South Indian male attitude here. Never lift a finger and hope that the girls come flocking over and better yet, find an excuse and blame it all on your parents for your name!

Sure, go ahead, give yourself a nickname if you like (I personally think thats just an ego massage), but really, do you honestly believe that that alone will make you a babe magnet??

I think its because S.I men are inherently lazy, incapable of motivating themselves enough to do anything but get through the big academic institues, and time tested perfectionists in the art of being pigs of the male-chauvenistic kind.

And look at all these guys who actually agree with this! Not surprising, and frankly, I think you should just start a club of losers-in-love. It always takes two to tango, so if you see one half tango-ing, why don't you jump in to be the other half????

And ironically, at the end of the post - names are changed but they STILL need a week's time if there is the possibility of dance! So much for changing you name I say.

--- From a really frustrated S.I woman who had to coach her big brother on finding girls at nightclubs, and he eventually had an arranged marriage! And don't even get me started on that marrying a virgin thing! ---

WnG said...

176 posts....need i say more??? best piece of writing i've seen. great job man!!!!!!!

Prashant A. Prabhu said...

Great Man..Reading the comments was just as funny as reading the BLOG.
You are now famous as hell...

And what is this accusation about Plagiarism?? Why don't you clear it up???

Anonymous said...

Well, the name does matter. Well, few South Indian names do sound funny. Good catch.

Keep penning.

BTW, Sidin is cool name. Don't go for pseudonym.

Savvy

mahima said...

A friend sent me here... you're really good. I keep a blog too if you ever wanna see.. but I'm not too regular with it.

http://lifeandtimes75.blogspot.com/

i-me-myself said...

it is simbly outta this ... no wait its... well from here! having a name like yamuna... i share your agony uncle ...i do;)

Mekala said...

A captivating insight into the world of an SI male's thought process. And probably accurate at that from the number of "I relate" responses that you have received.

As an SI woman in L.A. - away from SI thought process/sharing for sometime, it was interesting to get a whiff through your reflective essay.

Names do matter - just as first impressions do. Depends on what you are looking for - a brief fling/romantic interlude, or commitment to relationship...

But as one of your commentators felt, SI men seem to be less socially, politically, environmentally aware therefore do not come across passionate about life and its activities the way some others do, or... they have a problem expressing themselves - meaning less confidence.

Please - lets not allow SI & NI differential - A man of substance stands more of a chance than a raunchy, leather/ denim clad swinger. Again perspectives my friend...perspectives, exposure & experience

I would love to meet a man who can express himself in a face to face dialogue as well as you have expressed yourself in writing...

My view : SI males - who are successful educationally and professionally need to develop their own personality socially or otherwise instead of following the American Dude, Duh! etc... afterall we can bring a rich cultural and social heritage. Lets define our'selves' than homogenize...

With much appreciation for opening this dialogue
Mekala - not short for Manimekali
:-)

Anonymous said...

sorry if this hurts but i have read some of the stuff you have put up as your own , pretty long time back...so i hope you would not mind my saying that some of YOUR stuff may be STOLEN stuff!!
i might be sounding harsh because this southie name thing was penned by a good friend of mine...
we could be friends too, but not yet!!

Anonymous said...

Dude, I read this article in 2001 or 2002. MAN, you need guts to call this yours.

Eat dust my friend, but you are not much of a writer

Anonymous said...

Awesome ! Truly true ..the names are so big that u tend to say " Oh forget it ! " any short cut????
But, i still, till date dare to remember and pronounce these collosal names!!!! They are cute anyways.. require so much of brainstorming to remember (the first, middle and last..i get confused with the order)
Lovingly,
Rashi
A Northie ;)

backpack_everyday said...

hey good read man.

Anonymous said...

mmmm.....nice .... close to reality.women who fall for guys whose chaddi is seen are not worth for and even those guys are not worth for. fall for the real one thats worth and fantabulous and ur post is jus fantabulous 5 cheers .
................sayonara

Anand Markandan said...

Great Writing... you carry around the same sense of humour from your Trichy life . Your junior from 2004 passed out batch - (RECT) NITT . Happened to listen to your "Peter Russell" speech in A-2 hall when u were Overall CIC - Rep in 2000 .
Seems you have felt so bad... Why don't you use some simple nick names like what i do------------ Ambalavanan M called as Anand in Bombay :*)

Guru Panguji said...

Hey there!
Amazing article!! Unfortunately, I read it about 2 years later... Would have saved some questions :-D!! Heheh!!

Amazing humor there!

Sujeet Kuchibhotla said...

Hilarious man....Ur too funny....i got hooked to your blog recently when i was given that Indian cricketer description link...keep blogging and spreading joy!

Regards,

Sujeet Kuchibhotla

Mouli said...

"Priceless", "Hilarious"...
Hmmm. Wonder if people know the meaning for these words. Guess, for some people going to nightclubs, pubs, and hanging out with girls are main goals in life.

I see some comments from "South Indians", praising you for your ignorance. I was also about to laugh, ofcourse at your ignorance, but did not as it is rude laugh at someone's ignorance.

South India has its own unique identity and culture which are not borrowed from any invaders of India. In general there is Last name concept in South India. Early migrants from South India, used to add Iyer, Iyengar, Chettiar (BTW, if you don't know, these are caste names). The modern South Indians do not like to add their caste names to their names, hence, they use their father's first name.

I think the poster of this topic should read more before writing something.

-- a proud South Indian with a long first name and a longer last name

Mouli said...

Meant to say "NO LAST NAME CONCEPT"

Anonymous said...

Poor tams and mallus...
They should learn something from Kannadigas.. Shorter names (as pointed out by Mouli)
On the other hand, kannadigas lose the "recoginition" of being one by having Northy /sanskrit sounding names.

Anonymous said...

Terrific! You are in a different class. I dont know of any friend who has read this and not circulated it among others. Hats off to you.

Anonymous said...

I dunno about Northies, really!

What I've noticed is that they're loud, boisterous, chauvinistic, arrogant, racist and among the most accomplished murderers of the English language. Case in point - that chap who's tried making fun of Tam accents, while using atrocious English himself.

-A South Indian who thinks India should split, and we should rid ourselves of uncivilized scum from the North

Anonymous said...

Humourous but Big time FACT!

mukku said...

Humour at its best....i seriously suggest you should start a humour column in a newspaper....here i am reading the article 2 years after it was written...but nowhere has its lost its flavour....Well you have just added another fan to your writing !!

Anonymous said...

hey it was a real shit. Rediculous. u love msking fun of ur origin. although u have used very impressive language , after all u are from IIM , i can understnad.butmy frend u sud nt categorise ur name like this. There are many southies i have seen who love ther name like anything.
seems like u hav ur upbringing in north, thats y u can make comments like this. does ur gf hate u coz of ur name or u dont hav any coz of ur luks.
dont mind, u wrote what u felt, but this is what i m feelin, although i m a north indian.
now i think blogs are all means wher u can pour ur shit, and think this was a reat shit. Also i m amazed ppl are liking ur shit.
n for any doubt cALL ME at
Pigeontouch@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

man this shit is dope, i forwarded it to my friend and we both were rolling, southies you suck , northies suck, easties suck, only westies kick ass, thats the reason everyone wants to come to bombay

kickassso said...

happy 200th comment!

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