Saturday, June 26, 2004

Ze tragedy de greek?

No sooner had the stratosphere healed the hole ripped in it by Beckham's penalty, and France goes out with a whimper to that footballing giant Greece. I am quite happy for Greece of course. They deserved to win, and I hope they continue their brilliant performance. This will be another golden page in their footballing heritage. Which makes it a total of three golden pages.

Tottenham Hotspurs who get the french coach this season wont be too thrilled. If the bugger cant beat Greece with all those Zidane, Henry types I dont particularly see the Spurs beating Man U with anything less than a lead pipe.

And man were the French off course, off target and all that. I mean look at the shit that happened in the match...

Le Snap No. 1

Zidane: "EH!!! What ze f@#$ is Trezeguet doing...?"

Le Snap No. 2

Zidane: "Trezeguet you bastaird.. stop singing "Aaja Mahiya" and find ze footbawl..."

Everyone hates consultants. Most of my friends hate them, the guys who write jokes in Reader's Digest hate them and most of all my professors hate them. Which is ironic, cause I think an MBA just makes you more of a consultant than anything else. Sometimes, after a class, half of me wants to just ask for a refund and run away to a place without consultants or powerpoint presentations. The other half wants to go the the mess for lunch with everyone else. The discussion in class sometimes get so full of it its nauseating...

Prof: So how do you model the distribution system?
Marketing Group no. 52: Sir we use an intertemporal model coupled with a priority based resource alloction system. That should take care of the uncertainties in procurement parameters and unstable economic fallouts. Basically it is an attempt to demystify consumer supplier interface modalities.
Prof: Good... but what about scalability?
MG No. 52: Oh for that after six months we implement a paradigm shift.
Prof: Excellent...

Now you see where the problem starts from. The source of all those jokes on MBAs and consultants. People should just call a spade a spade. In an ideal world case discussions would be soo much simpler

Prof: Good morning. So under these circumstances what should the CEO of Eyewash Consulting do?
Class: Quit
Prof: Good. Class dismissed.

Rapid business education without all the crap. What scares me is if the same consult jargon was to percolate into our schools and our children... The images are scary...

Teacher: So what do you think Robert the Bruce did when he saw the spider?
Student: The spider has brought to the table models of sustained impetus and has disambiguated the protagonist's mental status quo. The arachnid has shown what a unwavering commitement to core competencies can do to the organization. Robert should expedite assimilation of similar best practices. Leveraging completely the power beneath his resource capabilities, will, at the end of the day, drive greater value into the penetration proposition.

Mind you those are words I hear everyday in class. I walk around so disoriented and lost after that, you'd think I was a french footballer.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

HA..HA..HA..Now i get a feeling of how a typical MBA class would be "..extraordinary intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability transcendentalising..".
Hey how long does it take for you to write a post man? No seriously ??

Anonymous said...

Feeling absolutely gutted (clocked 2 hours on the loss-of-sleep-o'meter) after the England match, and with Spain out of the tournament, I decided I'd support France (despite all the Arsenal players) because of Zidane. Third choice, but I was sure they'd win. And then this...

So now, I've decided to support Portugal because I don't want them to win because they beat England. Paradoxical, but makes sense in a strange sorta way. No?

With due apologies to Marvin the paranoid android for manipulating his quotable words- Football. Don't talk to me about Football.

Been going through your blog for almost an hour, now. (Y)

Cheers,
Nikhil
http://www.nixxin.tk

Rohit said...

Heyya Sid

I have been checkin your blog for sometime now(since the Travails....).And I got to tell you..you have inspired me to make my own blog.I have tried to add some funny posts here and there and would like to know about your views as to how I can put across my ideas more efficiently.My blogspot id is :
http://isanelyinane.blogspot.com/

PS : Czech or the Greeks gonna run away with the Euro.

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

Your posts are indeed very hilarious...bordering on the satirical and lyrical humor. Cross between Douglas Adams and Wodehouse. Though you are yet to get there:) am curious to know your take on so called "serious" and "intellectual" stuff in life. As some one said analysing and dissecting your humor is like dissecting a frog..one may get the required info but both die in the process...wondering abt the "Jekyll" side of you:D Anyway rock on!

Anonymous said...

Sidin maan ... you just postponed whatever limited plans I had for giving the CAT . .seriously .. anyways .. I'm hungry now must quit goofing around and go eat.

- anya www.animaha.com/blog

Anonymous said...

You are not far off from the truth, it was Aristotle who said that "All human activities lead to some good", it is that search of the definition of 'Good' that has kept many trades of human beings relevant.
Economics is a very good example of such a 'good finding' activity.
All the best with what you set out to do dont be too disillusioned by what you perceive to be real. Reality begins when MBA ends and that my friend you can never learn from memoirs of the battle weary.
The French were only disoriented till they got to the parking lot!

Jupe said...

Oh Mr.Holier-than-thou, Don't tell me you didnt use ny of dese jargon during summers :-) Cmon, get off it dude - U n me know its all crap but then wots the difference between us and the rest of the crowd. If u've learnt it (n paid 4 lacs too), u jolly well flaunt it :-)

Hehe.. Greece beating France.. Wot is this world coming to ? I wudnt be surprised if Anju George won at Athens... After all its the year of the underdog :-)

Keep bloggin' bro - Believe me i am reading this on Sunday payin' good money.

ps: Shameless again but i kinda think u will enjoy my latest post on footer :-)

Anonymous said...

now i know why i did not join MBA... ;-) hey, but it is fun to read ur posts... in this frustu preofessional life of software industry it is a relief to read ur posts and laugh...keep writing....

prope//er said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
prope//er said...

Dude..

Considering that you are a consultant in the making, the following bullshit generator should appear familiar.
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.htmlSeriously dude, the high funda generated-jargon can help you get laid or assist you in your response to that dickwad of an interviewer.

Anonymous said...

nice jargon.but i think i laughed in business german this time.
iw

Anonymous said...

hey!!! please update your blog regularly (by that i mean everyday)....its part of my everyday reading now and its sad when i dont find it updated....Its an amazing blog by the way....
Divya

Anonymous said...

Whaddya mean "Everyone hates consultants. Most of my friends hate them, the guys who write jokes in Reader's Digest hate them and most of all my professors hate them."?

*I* call myself a linux / networking consultant. I make money off the *hard* work of volunteer programmers - some of them without *jobs*.

Now, tell me why would anybody hate *me*?

If you want to see personal information about me (who else?) or my journal, visit my personal home page - http://atulchitnis.net.

If you want professional information - http://atulchitnis.comIf you want to read articles I write occasionaly - http://comversations.comIf you want to know more about my company - http://exocore.comIf you want anything else, I'm sorry I can't afford anymore TLDs.

ATUL CHITNIS achitnis@exocore.com

Anonymous said...

Far out - I got here after Travails and have stuck around since. Since I am one of those 'consultants' I know exactly what you are talking about. Unfortunately if I lay it out for the client straight and simple, they think they arent getting a big enough bang for the buck so obfuscation with powerpoint is the order of the day. The summary slide is all that is normally called for in the 2 hr plus presentations.

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