Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Poove Poli Poove...

The olympics has to be one of the most depressing things I have ever seen. Late night TV session after late night TV session I have gone to bed feeling sourer than that generic Gujju lemon pickle they serve everywhere in Ahmedabad. Of course it would'nt have been that way if I was american or chinese. Oh those guys have nothing to crib about (except their president and facial indistinguishability in that order...). Is it too much to ask for a little more than one silver? So now everytime I have to scroll down the entire medals table till almost the very end to catch a glimpse of the motherland. Past such illustrious sporting nations as Latvia, the Dominican Republic, and of course the UAE. The combined population of these three countries being less the number of people missed out on the electoral roles during the recent Lok Sabha elections in the Mumbai South constituency. Dammit. (Some consultancy firm came up with a report that we will have atleast 10 Olympic Golds with us by 2040. Yes we will... if we host it or something...then we wil have the whole lot for sometime...)
So I content myself watching freestyle wrestling. At one point I was rooting for this hairy guy from Azerbaijan I think. I really cant tell the difference between all these consonant-y countries. Freestyle wrestling is very gay in parts. Which makes it really kinky when the women are having a go. Anyways that was another sport where we got blown out of contention within a few nanoseconds of our wrestlers hitting the mat. One Indian guy was down ten points in one minute or so. (In wrestling you need to do a lot of shit to get 10 points. Its not bridge ok...) The irony was that before the wrestling started our wrestlers vowed to put an end to all the beating our national pride was getting throughout the olympics. They were right. Now that we dont have any, noone can beat it up. Pity about Anju though, she just seemed to hiccup under the pressure. She looked all worked up and all. (No mallu senti here. Let me not start on where all those wrestlers hail from.)
Then there is that national game. Which reminds me, its a lot like our national bird and animal too no? Not too much of any of them around. If it weren't for Egypt we would've lost all our games. But we did beat Korea and come 6th in the end. You know we should have the option to change our national sport. It should be something we are good at. Right now I root for Double Trap Shooting.

Thank god there are Onam special Mohanlal reruns to quickly switch to when the athletics get too depressing. Onam is complete only with a few good reruns and a few family comedies in the evenings. Some of those Dileep comedies are unbelievably funny, a close second behind anything the state wing of the congress does.

Its good to be back home. I was getting a little too comfy with the wide roads, uninterrupted power and active phone lines of Ahmedabad. After more than a year of regularity the power cuts, voltage fluctuations and general lack of customer service was a reality check.

Me: Telephone Enquiry?
TE: Yes...Me: Jet Air Thrissur office number please...
TE: They have an office in Thrissur?
Me: I am not really sure, can you please check and tell me?
TE: First you be sure and then you find out... click...
Me: WTF?

The state is in real bad shape. Dont let all this "Gods own country" propaganda fool you. The state is as akin to things godly as the Paris Hilton video is to The Sound of Music. The newspapers are filled with stories of suicides and thievery and crime. If my local newspaper had so much sex, violence and masala by jove I would make sure I was literate...

There is this new found drive in me to write short stories. Ahmedabad and IIMA is getting too routine. I think I need to make up stuff now to keep all you voracious types busy. And I have seen enough mallu movies to fuel a lot of fictional thinking. If thou art mallu definitely watch this movie called Kalyanaraman, if thou art not get a mallu to see it and explain it to you. It is so funny it will make you pee in your pants. (Which is another compelling reason to wear the lungi and watch movies...)

And finally, we have a new Chief Minister. The old one resigned yesterday. I real can't tell you anything more. We lost power yesterday and havent been able to see a news bulletin since. The newspapers dont print non-crime anymore. But then on the bright side I didnt have to watch Trinidad and Tobago get more medals than us either.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

hilarious!!!!
....If my local newspaper had so much sex, violence and masala by jove I would make sure I was literate...

and hey, we fucchas are missing the 10 minutes extra notice we get for a quiz when the tucchas shout "muggo fuccho muggo"
cheers,
ravi (noodle)

Sriram said...

i really felt for Anju George....watching her jumping with the load of 1 billion medal starved people on her back....that too agnst those russian sirens(teteyeva was it?) was really a miserable sight...

ne ways, three cheers to her for trying her best!!!

Cheers,
Sriram
@
yuppieyearnings.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

you are back to form dude...this is what i like

S m i t h a said...

U r back to form!!!
I was most expecting an Olympic post... u can't resist calumny? Who indeed?
what does "Poove Poli Poove.." mean?

Anonymous said...

Dude, India finished 7th in the hockey not 6th B-)

Aslan said...

tatyana I and II [or shud that be III for bronze?!] rubbed anju's face in the dirt. she shudn't be worked up. after all, she did achieve her personal best, which is commendable.. pity her hopes n' our prayers that the other competitors wud experience F-1 G-forces, weren't answered.. but didn't u know she did get gold in the end?! courtesy ALUKKA's. HAHA! n' u didn't comment on abhinn shyam gupta's perf. in baddy. fought to 11-15 n then yielded the next 0-15!

yea n' lets all indulge in some dileep-bashing. i can't stand the sight of that fatfraught comedian. n' i wish de others wudn't comment on the quality of ur posts.. as i said once before, "Illegitimi non carborundum"

Jupe said...

This post was vintage Sidin... Jes the kinds we all love..Am still proud of Anju dude.. Lets face it - the Russian lassies were simblee too good..The real low point for me was hockey.. real whiners these lads..

Sidin, ever checked out synchronised swimming or rhythmic gymnastics..Wot the heck is happening yaar.. Me thot the Olympics was abt sports..Next wot - BALLET ? Mebbe India shud host an Olympics and introduce Pallankuzhi (ask ur Tam pals wot it means)

Keep rockin' dude

Anu said...

Finally... ur back.. Short stories and all are fine... but this post brought back the laughter into my Sedentary life ..btw..the sports guys would do much better if they were given a couple of lakhs by the MNC's to lie in the sand and drink colas...on the other hand..that still hasnt helped our cricket team

Anonymous said...

hmmm, how abt some medals for sand raking...

Shami said...

I'm convinced that the sports ministry should invest on the one sport where we could have a great chance. I propose the "Synchronised Swimming" Singles Event.

And of course a small matter of not letting anyone else compete.

www.shampoofactor.com/blog

Anonymous said...

me suffered thru "kalyanraman". sidin , the things you make us do!
iw

virdi said...

hey sidin.. india came 7th in hockey and not 6th.. tu usko change kar le.. whateva, who cares.. we didnt get the medal since 1980, when countries like nigeria and cuba were our main rivals.. take care..

Anonymous said...

hi sidin am sajith here sujith`s brother. i really find ur site interestin & u r always best buddy, then hwz IIM-A
take care
gudluck
sajith(achu)

hUmDiNgEr said...

so, is it the real secret of wearing a Lungee??? ;-))

Anonymous said...

Very ordinary post. It befits the local newspapers of your kerala Mr. Sidin. You betta take a job in a goverment school or college rather studying in IIMA. The post is ok if your writing a diary for urself, but for the public display, its pathetic.
And look at the blind fan following you have got. This girl smitha is seems so crazy about you, that she can ... anytime you like.

scram off.

- satan

Anonymous said...

Well, Mr. satan dude ( above post ):
Your problem is down below your groin, and thats not easy to fix. We have a place in Kerala, near Kakkanad. I guess we should take you there. If thou art not a mallu ask him and he will explain it to you :)


Keep writing Sidin. Your posts are good because PEOPLE LIKE TO READ IT.

-Saviour

Anonymous said...

This 'commenting' is getting is getting very predictable. Some person tries his/her best to vitiate the atmosphere by criticising the post first and then indulging in vulgar talk on some female who has also commented. Then somebody else comes to Sidin's rescue. My suggestion is this: Censor all comments which contain obscenity, innuendoes at fellow readers, or are in any other way targetted at spoiling the general mood.

This is in no way any violation of free-speech, as the commenter is really not speaking out his/her thoughts, but only trying his/her best to spoil every body's fun.

Comments on the quality of the post shall be welcome as always.

Abhi said...

just love this writing style.fun to read all these posts in these distressed times of end term exams !!

abhinav
pgp-1.IIM Calcutta
www.mydayzwithmyself.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Sidin,

Waiting again .... Do we have to keep looking at "Poove Poli Poove" everytime we refresh, till the next Onam ?
Thanks in advance.

Anonymous said...

Hey sid, Just came across this URL :

http://www.blogshares.com/blogs.php?blog=http://sidin.blogspot.com%2F

u know anything abt this ??

rosie said...

Hey Sid,
Been trying to refrain from posting to reduce some of the attention :). But too long now. Real nice Onam post.
Btw, we're waiting...

Krishna said...

Time Asia has an article on the Indian Olympic debacle. Interesting read!

Krishna said...

http://www.time.com/time/asia/magazine/article/0,13673,501040823-682346,00.html

Forgot to put in the link!

Anonymous said...

Fine u are busy.but we are still out here.

Rajesh J Advani said...

15,000 hits in a month, inspite of just one post during that time. What's your secret?

:) Just kidding. Did you move your blog elsewhere for privacy, or what?

Anonymous said...

Zid,
Nice one, man... Great seeing u in action after those daily doses on the General NB.

$

Anonymous said...

hey sidin,
ur comment abt IIMA n branding has been mentioned in eco'times 2day! gr8 going boss.

Nishit Rawat said...

Nice blog sidin... surprised that i never got that southie men names post in my mail box... :)

Rajesh J Advani said...

For those who are interested in the economic times article that someone mentioned above -

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-869984,prtpage-1.cms

AR Hemant said...

Life isn't the same without Sidin!

Where be u, Sidin?

rosie said...

Sidin...
have you forgotten that you have a blog? That you used to post here? how looooong should we wait? Waiting for a post... or atleast tell us WHY.

Anonymous said...

Hi sidin,
It has been a while since I hit this blog. But man, you are good. Yeah, Kerala has changed so much, sadly not for the better! Progress is working only for porno industry, i guess.
You got to give it to Onam, man. One thing I miss the most....
Keep up the good work, man. You rock!

Anonymous said...

Hey Sid we can sure win a medal if Blogs r a part of olympics,n hope u won't back out like Malleshwari...........lol.

-A

Chennaizombie said...

The best strategy to win a gold is to hold the olympics in India , introduce a totally new game like long boat racing ( Onam fame) or bullfighting .. of course we have to fight the spaniards but not much competiton there. We can then win an olympic gold!!!
Arun

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