Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Karlo dhaniya mutthi mein... AKA Of rains and restaurants Part 2

(Originally written a week ago. So parts of the post may suddenly leap out at you with uncanny chronological frivolousness. Deftly side-step with a "Bah!! Die you content belittling demon of chornological accuracy!!!" and the post should read fine...)

Monday morning and the commotion outside the window reveals no respite from the showers. The TV dissapoints and the day starts off on a wrong note with the paper guy dropping off the wrong paper. A quick group SMS confirms we need to work out of home today and that means another day of iffy dial-up connections and boring hours spent over powerpoint presentations but without the comforting presence of broadband, raaga.com and the coffee machine. We still have not got a gas connection even after a month of applying. But why bore you with the sob stories of life in our corner of Wadala. Rather let us go back to my reminiscences of my life gastronomique.

My first job was one not amenable to too many culinary escapades. Long hours in the plant and a house in a corner of an industrial estate meant most meals were called in from Dominoes or Pizza Corner. Most of the time I was delivered depressing pizza and soft drink that had spent eons in the battered delivery scooter. By the time it reached my doorstep both pizza and coke had achieved an even equal lukewarm temperature. The meal was a constant struggle with pizza crust that can only be described as vulcanized. Finally after a few weeks my teeth could take it no more and I frequently made the bus trip to Ganga Sweets at Anna Nagar West. They made the most irremarkable "chat items" as they call it down south and insanely sweet Ras Malai which had so much colouring in it that the only thing that lasted longer than the after taste was the stain on ones shirt if you dropped it. Everyone told me to try out the Saravana Bhavan across the road. But just one visit to that Chennai phenomenon and I pledged never to go there again. Apparently their waiters were trained in the Idi Amin school of cheerful customer service inclusive of the thumb-in-tea, dosa-end-on-table and other age-old customer delight classics. And of course the relaxed dining atmosphere where you could lounge in your chairs after dinner for upto 15 whole nanoseconds. In the AC upper class they allowed a luxurious full minute of relaxation before you were asked to leave. With a flick of brown-green dust cloth. Sheer luxury.

Chennai was also where I discovered the joys of the Punjabi Dhaba Concept restaurant. There was one at Anna Nagar circle and a very popular one at Cenotaph road. More than anything else I remember the Amritsari Kulchas and the Lassis. But sometimes they took the decor to ridiculous lenghts. Even the most moist and tender morsels of Tandoori Chicken are difficult to savour when the ropes of mock charpoy bite into your moist and tender backside. But the lassis were amazing. The steel glasses were 3 feet tall and you wonder how all of it fit into one person. Especially the exquisite beauties who frequented these joints. The ambience was excellent. But my butt still hurt.

In my second year in Chennai I developed this thing for mocktails and sandwiches. So much so I signed up for something called a Masti Card you got from Musicworld I think just so I could get the 15% discount at a nice little eatery opposite the New Woodlands Hotel. Many many are the evenings I have spent there over baked beans and mushroom sandwiches, milk shakes and ice creams. The last football world cup saw me spend many evenings perched on orange chairs looking up at the TV on the top right hand corner. One memorable evening I watched the match with a bunch of non-english speaking oriental looking types watching Japan Vs. Morocco I think. I was rooting for Japan and grabbed a chair right in the middle of this big bunch of oriental soccer fans. I learnt some memorable lessons that day. Including the fact that Morocco has some very oriental looking fans. By half time I had quickly scooted out with a baby corn and peas sandwich safely in a plastic bag.

Then happened the Cafe craze that to this day significantly hits my bottom line. In both ways. While the caffeine addiction hit an all-time high in Ahmedabad the flavorful foundations were set in place at the Cafe Coffee Day a few paces down from Anna Nagar Circle. (Yes I noticed I havent seen much of Chennai besides Anna Nagar have I?) It is some indication of my pulsating social life in Chennai that I used to spend over 8 hours at a stretch sitting in the cafe reading, thinking and trying to do crosswords. I used to know the guys who worked by their first names and some weekends they played some of my mp3 CDs. I was a lonely man with only a Tropical Iceberg and Penthouse Letters for company. Which meant my next career move was a no-brainer. Coffee + Porn = MBA.

Ahmedabad has to be world's number one restaurant city. There are restaurants everywhere. I mean everywhere. It is the home of authentic vegetarian American, Mexican and Italian food. Amdavadis were never bored or lazy. No my dear reader if an Amdavadi had ten minutes to spare he opened a restaurant. If he was on transit from Chicago to Baroda and had a stopover in Amdavad for two hours, he rushed out of the terminal, opened a Thali joint made a couple of crores and checked in. That was how crazy eating out was in Ahmedabad. And only one thing was crazier than the number of restaurants. The number of people who wanted to eat in them. Weekend meant that hordes of families descended onto the eateries and cafes of the city and let loose orgies of, among other things, Pakwan Thalis, Paneer and Havmor Icecream. The good non-vegetarian places were few and far between and Saturday nights usually meant feasting on the biriyanis at Four Foods, the mandatory mallu eating place, or Tomoatoes, the mandatory over-priced American decor place.

Four Foods was where Amdavadi mallus celebrated any occassion with chicken, mutton and fish. Since good non-veg was tough to come by, these occassions were frequent and included such age-old auspicious events like the Sunday after Onam, all four days before Onam and all non-even days of the month. But honestly the food was not that great. But parochial spirit clouded our taste buds, and that and the Mohanlal songs on the stereo meant every morsel took me back home to Abu Dhabi... err... Thrissur.

"Tomatoes" is nothing short of a phenomenon in Ahmedabad and one of my fave ROML. The decor was severly Yankee-influenced and if it wasn't for the prohibition rules it would easily make one of the pubs that are all the rage for a few years and then slide away into oblivion. But their menu was interesting and they made a decadent Tiramsu shake that went straight from glass to artery lining in two or four mouthfulls. The crowning glory of the "Tomatoes" menu was the non-veg tandoor platter. It is to be seen to be believed and I will refrain from describing it so as to not disturb my vegetarian mostly celibate friends. Of course my veggie friends dabbled in such things like Cheese Tacos and grilled paneer and things like that. But even they gasped when a tandoor platter made its appearance and secretly wished they were never born Iyer. With a sad shrug they then quickly munched down on a piece of lifeless unemotional unpoetic babycorn.

Ah the Cafes. Hours I tell you. Hours were spend sipping brew and munching on cling-wrapped sandwiches lounging around on the orange sofas. There was a big bunch of us and few were the days when we were not at a nearby Barista or Coffee Day outlet sharing jokes and some excellent coffees. Or maybe the company just made us think the coffee was good. Soon we knew very cool facts like that the Barista at Vijay Char Rasta never had ice, or that the Coffee Day at Passport office always had less food than the one at Orchid building. As you can see even in the midst of so many people we were all individually porn-reading coffee-drinking anti-socials. Sometime in second year though our simple coffee drinking adventures were complicated by the arrival of Cafe Mocha in Ahmedabad. Cafe Mocha is to Coffee Day what Pamela Anderson is to Mamta Kulkarni. Infinitely better quality but still big big portions. We lounged more, drank coffee more, and went back to buying less toothpaste and soap to afford it. But Ahmedabad will be Ahmedabad and soon there was a waiting list of around 4 million people on the weekends. I miss Cafe Mocha though. I miss the coffees, the deserts and the awesome floor couches. And of course the celebrities. Once we saw Parthiv Patel there. He walked in, was served a cup of coffee and then promptly dropped it on the floor. As always happens to poor Parthiv it had bounced off a rough patch and was entirely not his fault

Sob. The cafes of Ahmedabad evoke many a nostalgic memory. Thankfully we were all shipped off to our respective workplaces and with the emergence of the salary and credit cards I embarked on an ongoing journey of culinary discovery… But Mumbai and its restaurants deserve a whole blog to itself…

Till then… sleep, work and eat well while I whip up a little post on Bade Miya et al...

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Appetising post.and as always , you managed to crack me up.And the title - hilarious.

Amit Pandey said...

Cool Apertif stuff....After these starters, can we have the main menu ??

Your current posts are like "Birbal Ki Kichhdi", appears after lot of time but pure gastronomic delight !!!

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of my own days as an amdavadi..did u ever eat at "upper crust"? the place where i first tasted spaghetti bolognese..mm..and oh, you forgot to mention that every amdavadi restaurant has the absolute same sickening achaar..

-P

SV said...

You didn't need to go out of Annanagar ! It's the best place in Madras , heh heh

Anonymous said...

hey! retard. where have all ur followers gone? only 4 comments?

Anonymous said...

wtf!! give the chap a break! 5 comments within 48 hours is more than what some get in a lifetime..

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

Hilarious! your writing is pricelss man! more you write like this the higher standards you are going to set for yourself....and that much disappointed we are gonna be when you odnt match up!:)
Being a resident of Annanagar thatw as quite nostalgic..though most of the places you have mentioned are no longer existing or has been revamped. Am a lover of coffee and I read Slimes Of India(sometimes for want of a better paper in office...and sometimes willingly clandestinely) so I guess that should take care of the seocnd part of the equation....so am all set for doing MBA eh?:P

Anyway great writing!

Anonymous said...

sidin,
i love my paani puri and greasy masala dosa and chillysalted green mango and coaltoasted corn when its raining and my peanuts roasted in sand served in the thinest cone ever and pineapple with twist of lime and roadside red watermelon juice without flies in them.

in the third world and truly enjoying it.
iw

ash_rose said...

Yo sidin ,

That was a trip down the memory lane for me as well - thanks to amdavad's restaurants - how come u havent mentioned food court in FR - where u get everything - all tasing uniformly bad?!!

- aish.

ash_rose said...

Yo sidin ,

That was a trip down the memory lane for me as well - thanks to amdavad's restaurants - how come u havent mentioned food court in FR - where u get everything - all tasing uniformly bad?!!

- aish.

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Alex said...

Amazing analogies... its barista vs cafe coffee day for us in Hyd... but the analogy applies neway...

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

Hey Sidin,

Welcome back. We missed you!!

The blog is awesome as always. The Sidin we know and love...

Loved the Pam-Mamta analogy. One of your best so far. How do you think this stuff?

Waiting for the next one....

scorpigle said...

wow that felt good... u have a clear memory as far as gastronomic incidents are concerned.. waiting for the main course now

Anonymous said...

Considered being a vegetarian?

Anonymous said...

Hi Sidin,

Having spent around eighteen lovely years of my life in Gujarat, I understand and believe that it's a heaven-like place as far as food is concerned.. especially of vegeterian type ! I've also spent few years in the states like TamilNadu, West Bengal and Maharashtra... Not becoz I'm a Gujju guy, but as the experience I've had at different places of the country, I would say that there is not many states in India which are comparable to Gujarat as far as quality and varieties of food go... Be it of the chilled desert type or spicy chat type or delicious sweet type or muaaahhhh-the grand thali type.. Doesn't matter ! Gujarat really rocks... People are mad of going out to the eateries even at twelve of night.. Moreover decency remains maintained, it being a dry state.. U really reminded me of the days I spent there.... Thanks !

-Tej.

Anonymous said...

Yum..yum..yummy..that was a nicely written article!!

Anyesha said...

Couldn't help noticing this...but is the word Dhaniya meant to be coriander as in coriander chutney or Duniya as in the World...
Loved your post...now I know where to eat or not to eat if I ever find myself in Ahmedabad!!

Anonymous said...

Sweets, he's talking abt ambanis' new business venture- coriander farming..

Suze said...

ahh.. that was simply mouthwaterin..

where did you have the time in ahd to go out and eat though? s'far have been stuck to four foods for tam treat and occasionally McDees..

missing the amazing nv cuisine of chennai

Anonymous said...

Ah, Tomatoes and the tandoori platter!! But how could you forget Death by Chocolate (or was it Chocolate Delight) in Tomatoes, which caused paroxysms of guilt in D1 and D11 denizens and the reason why the insti authorities had to shift certain WIMWIans to the structurally stronger new campus :-)

saurav said...

Hey !!! u re a metallurgist ?
mee too here.....
if u dont mind ..where are u working now ???

rosie said...

Si-DIN,
Bee-yu-ti-ful.

Unknown said...

hi sidin

great writing..keep it up

jaycee

Anonymous said...

C'mon sidin..
we are hongry..deliver, please..dish out, man..

Anonymous said...

What about Vishala? The sit-down-and-eat village-like restaurant just outside A'bad. Never seen a place like it.

Anonymous said...

this boy needs to be nudged.
*elbow nudge*
write.
(i know u write for self and all but my nudges work all the time)
*another nudge*

Anonymous said...

Program on the emergence of civilization.

"14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa."
Favor.
And disfavor.

They point out Africans’ attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.

The roots of racism are not of this earth.

Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals.


The North American continent had none. Now 99% of that population is gone.






Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:

1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god"
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management –
3. Mafia (evil) aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere ("On planets where they approved evil.")

Then we come to terrestrial management:

4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia - the real-world interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.



Survival of the favored.




Movies foreshadowing catastrophy
1986 James Bond View to a Kill – 1989 San Fransisco Loma Prieta earthquake.




Journal: 10 composition books + 39 megs of text files

hope and love said...

hi.
:))
im new to ur blog.
u r vvery talented.!!
great..!

Safari Al said...

Sidin, post dammit! post...!

Anonymous said...

Ah...good ol Amdavad days revisited and Chennai is much more than Anna Nagar man!

But how come Birmies didn't find a mention in your blog?

~69

Anonymous said...

BAJAO!!
Ruk Kyo Gaye?

Anonymous said...

hey....where in Ahmedabad is Cafe Mocha located? Address please.

Anonymous said...

Sidin,

My post will probably be lost out of the many that you receive. I must appreciate your writing. It is my source of daily fun.

Dipti

Rahul Bhaskar said...

hey..u didn't mention cafe upper crust on the university road..near rasranjan

கைப்புள்ள said...

Hi Sidin,
Another great from you. Hoping to see something about the Saravana Bhavans, Vasanta Bhavans and the Kaiyendhi Bhavans of Chennai from you.

Your's was the first blog I ever got to see. I got this Travails of South Indian men article as a forward in my mail almost an year back. I wanted to know abt the author and did a google search and found your blog. Also came to know from one of your Seniors that you used to write in IIMA Bulletin Boards.

Though its a source of fun, I regret having seen your blog first. Iam maintaining my own blog(http://smohanraj.blogspot.com). and now I realise its really hard to match your standards. Simply love your writing. You are the "Harsha Bhogle of the Web". Great man...keep it up. But miss your daily bloglet subscriptions to my mailbox...it seems to have dried up quite a bit.

கைப்புள்ள said...

Sidin,
Another great from you. Hoping to read something on the Saravana Bhavans, Vasanta Bhavans and the Kaiyendhi Bhavans of Chennai.

Your's was the first blog I ever got to see. I got this Travails of South Indian men article as a forward in my mail almost an year back. I wanted to know abt the author and did a google search and found your blog. Also came to know from one of your Seniors that you used to write in IIMA Bulletin Boards.

Though its a source of fun, I regret having seen your blog first. Iam maintaining my own blog(http://smohanraj.blogspot.com). and now I realise its really hard to match your standards. Simply love your writing. You are the "Harsha Bhogle of the Web". Keep it up. But miss your daily bloglet subscriptions to my mailbox...it seems to have dried up quite a bit.