Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Sidin's guide to the greatest Indian cricketers of all time especially that period between 4 and 6 pm last week

After yesterday's fantastic win against Pakistan there is a new-found optimism in the Indian camp especially with our younger players coming of age and beginning to complement the senior players nicely. When asked of his feelings about the current Indian team Rahul Dravid stated that there was a new-found optimism in the Indian camp especially with our... you get the drift yeah?

So it is but natural that several young Indians of today, drunk with current glory, lose touch with the glittering past of Indian cricket. India has had a history of outstanding cricketers many of whom have been instrumental in the achievement of a large number of cricketing records by countries like Australia, Pakistan, England, Scotland, Vidharbha etc.

This negligence has to stop and the movement to relive our cricketing past starts with this blog right now. So today we celebrate some of the luminaries who have taken Indian cricket to where it is today in the cricketing record books (i.e. in the "vs." column). This list is by no means exhaustive, authoritative or even authentic, and the author strongly expresses the opinion that you do not try this at home.

List of luminaries with brief biographies, often true. (Part 1)

Ranjit Singhji: One of the first great Indian cricketing heroes. Singhji was "The cricketer formally known as "Prince"". His most famous exploits include obtaining a UK visa and work permit and inventing the Leg Glance, a move whereby when friends' sisters walks by in a short skirts you make a sweeping cricket shot action imitation thereby looking at their legs but not getting caught. Famously, Ranjit Singhji once fell ill after a mixing some bad milk in his cup of Darjeeling and could only bowl a single over. In spite of this he got 3 wickets through judicious use of line and length. This is immortalized today in the famous "Corridor of Uncertain Tea". He names lives on to this day in the form of the tournament named after him, the "Coca-Cola Cup".

Gundappa Viswanath: Widely considered the greatest left-handed batsmen from Andhra with a moustache to play in the 60s, in Indian History. Played several crucial test innings for India, many times pulling India back from the brink of complete disaster, taking them to mere comprehensive defeats. He was a daring, brave batsman who stood fearless in the face of the quickest bowlers, primarily because he was blinded by his moustache. Renowned for his deft footwork, he once, after being bowled for duck, moonwalked all the way back to the pavilion. His first name means "Fat Papa" in Tamil and this ensured constant victory for India against the Sri Lankans who could not bowl at him with a straight face.

Sunil Gavaskar: The first big international Indian cricket star. Scored thousands upon thousands of runs in a career that spanned several millions of balls left outside off-stump. He was affectionately known as Sunny, the Little Master and that little Prick though the first two were rarely used. He was a tireless team player and inspiring captain who often shouldered a lot of the batting burden and most of the match fees single-handedly. Gavaskar was a cricketer who patiently waited for the loose ball and once did so for three whole days in a limited overs match before stadium security politely asked him to leave. Gavaskar became the captain of India in 1982 taking on the mantle from Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan, an accomplished cricketer himself, who retired from cricket in protest after it became mandatory to wear kits with one’s full name on the back.

Ravi Shashtri: Holds the record for maximum sixes hit in one over with 6 against Tilak Raj in Bombay. Shastri would have hit more but little Tilak had maths homework and a Social Studies test the next day and we all know how bad 7th standard CBSE is. Shastri was one of our first great all-rounders and once, in a remarkable game in the 1987 tour of Ooty and Coimbatore, Shastri bowled himself around the legs. Ravi Shastri was the heartthrob of millions of women in the late 80s and early 90s and was considered a great looker. This has now been found to be an error due to primitive TV broadcasting technology. He is now a well-known and respected cricket commentator. Fiercely patriotic, he recently pegged India to win all the one-days in the South African tour of Sri Lanka.

Kapil Dev: Explosive with the ball, dynamic with the bat and ridiculous with the English language, Kapil Dev was the life of many humorous post-match press conferences. Dev often stood alone in the face of adversity and dragged India out of tight spots. His 175 run innings in Tunbridge Wells is a classic and some of his shots continue to orbit the Earth to this day bouncing off space stations and interfering with TV broadcasts (see Ravi Shastri above.) Kapil Dev was also one of the first few cricketers to make it big in the world of advertising and synonymous with the caption: "Boost is the secret of my enema. Our enema. (Smile)" Nowadays he is a successful entrepreneur and often appears on TV when he roots for India from his heart saying: "India needs to play the games with the heart and the tactics is nice if then the whole together comes... err... boost is the secret of my enema..."

Krishnamachari Srikkanth: A dynamic one-day player who pioneered the technique of repeated letters in one's name for good luck. Srikkanth was an explosive opening batsman who often stepped out of his crease and swung his bat with great gusto only to be stumped down leg side. He holds the record for maximum consecutives world cups without a haircut (4). Kris Srikkanth was the quintessential South Indian in the team who rapidly learned Hindi while playing for India, leading to an average of well over 4 run outs per match in the process. Today Kris is a passionate cricket commentator who can say “Oh shit, sorry” in over 14 north Indian languages.

Venkatesh Prasad: If Akthar is the "Rawalpindi Express" then for many years Venkatesh Prasad, a key part of the bowling attack, was affectionately called "The Slow Bangalore Passenger That Is Currently Broken Down At Palakkad Station. Passengers approach ticket counter for refund please." Despite several key wickets, Prasad was not a pacey bowler but instead used a bewildering array of slow, slower and slowest balls to vex batsmen. In the 1992 World Cup he bowled a slow one to Wasim Akram that has not reached the batsman to this day. He was a pioneer of the "Intimidation" school of fielding whereby you do not run for the ball but merely try to stop it by looking at it gravely.

Anil Kumble: Named after the Anil Kumble Circle in Bangalore, where he grew up learning to bowl, Kumble continues to be one of the spinning maestros in the country. However he is not a big mover of the ball but instead unleashes a repertoire of balls so complicated even he does not know what he is doing. He holds the record for having captured 10 wickets in a single test innings but honestly cannot explain how. The author has a particular grouse with Mr. Kumble for having released a shitty cricket video game that the author's brother forced him to buy. The game has graphics reminiscent of a Rohrschach Test and game play marginally more engaging than digging one's nose. Kumble is frequently a useful all-rounder and was the first Indian to achieve the “supreme” double of 400 wickets taken and 4000 misfields.

Sachin Tendulkar: No one makes fun of Sachin. Not even me.

Sanjay Manrekar: Manjrekar is an exciting top order batsman with an amazing repertoire of shots. If you play him in that stupid Anil Kumble game that is. In real life he was often called a text-book cricketer, in the sense that watching him bat was like reading a macro-economics text book. Sanjay Manjrekar was full of technique and single-handedly developed 2567 ways of padding upto an off-spinner. His moment of glory was during the Ashes Test of 1994 when Imran Khan approached him and accepted defeat as several of the Pakistani players were collapsing from brain inactivity. Manjrekar valiantly declined and went on to score an astounding century in just under a fortnight.

Venkatpathy Raju: With tremendous movement off the pitch especially in windy gusty weather, Venkatpathy Raju is one of the lightest players to have ever played the game. His bowling, on the other hand, was tricky especially because of a complete lack of speed. Raju bowled with such little pace and his ball took so long to come that batsmen often practiced facing him by getting friends and relatives to courier cricket balls overnight to them through local courier companies.

That was the first edition of this special blog series on Indian cricket greats. Hope you enjoyed these brief character profiles and you often burst out, like Azhar, with the words: “Wow!! This I will do for free…” More exciting profiles of Indian cricketing heroes coming soon. Stay tuned.

(p.s. Before anyone gets worked up I know they were all brilliant cricketers and all this is just a joke. Except of course in case of Venkatesh Prasad. So please relax. And dont send hate mail please...)

270 comments:

1 – 200 of 270   Newer›   Newest»
Hitler's soul said...

I just spat out my jaw laughing.

Unnikrishnan G Nair said...

Thats Sidin at his best!! The post was simply humourous.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post !! U simply rock ! Waiting for the sequel.

Anonymous said...

Sidin - For President!!!!

Vaibhav said...

Ravi Shastri was the heartthrob of millions of women in the late 80s and early 90s and was considered a great looker. This has now been found to be an error due to primitive TV broadcasting technology.


Spot the missing joke.



I read your blog all the time Sidin... and each time seems funnier than the last!

Today I actually had look away and think about other stuff to stop my self from laughing out loud (I was reading at work)...


So calling this the sex of humour (no pun intended) actually ain't hyperbole!

Sudhakar said...

Was that "Wagon R" advt inspired by you? I guess, you too have a "Wagon R" and now left a promising job to pursue a career of your interest.

Anonymous said...

Good one. However, I think Vishwanath was a right-handed batsman and he was from Karnataka.

Anonymous said...

nope! dont get any of those cricket jokes! :(

പെരിങ്ങോടന്‍ said...

Sachin Tendulkar: No one makes fun of Sachin. Not even me.

????! ?????????????????.

Deepu said...

Ahh great post again .

we at DA-IICT are thinking of forming 1st Sidin Fan club :)

Eagerly waiting for u r arrival

Zero said...

Well, what else can i say after almost staining my brand new shirt with some tea (and went on to drink water to wash the tea down and spilt that too!)...

When reading Sidin's blog, you better not be sipping anything!

Vinod said...

hehehehehe

Awesome post!! But I don't think you've treated Kris "Arre, Charu Bhai, Kya Bolraha ho?" Srikkanth fairly? The man is so much more talented than you've made him out to be...

Anonymous said...

Rollicksomely humourose! :D
Though u cud have written some thing bout sachin..like that abdomen guard adjusting habit of his!!! lol...
-lechingsaint

PSR Chaitanya said...

ROTFLOL....Awesome post.

Scarface said...

Hey Sidin,

Awesome post!! This was probably the only piece on Cricket that I enjoyed!I could never understand cricket:(

അരവിന്ദ് :: aravind said...

wow! what a post! :-)))
really really funny..
if you are a mallu who can read malayalam and do not know about a group of mallu bloggers, please visit some of the blogs here, you MIGHT find it very funny.

http://kodakarapuranams.blogspot.com/

http://arkjagged.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

shit now I know how bad I am at cricketing knowledge ..

coz till I read the comments I thought all that you wrote was true .. or did you write the truth in a funnny way.. or is the lie funny ??? I am confused

Nishit said...

I did the mistake. I did it. I was advised not to read it in office and I did it. and I am in my office and laughing like a mad. Too good. waiting for second edition

JK said...

ROTFL...Amazingly funny...

Vignesh said...

Brilliant!! Am gettin wierd looks from co-workers..hahaha! Just brilliant!

Anunag said...

great post,
especially kapil dev and venkatesh prasad...too good..too good

Anonymous said...

Gundappa Vishwanath was born in Karnataka.

Excellent post, hats off to you.

Ravi

S m i t h a said...

amazingly funny! laughed my behind off!! waiting for part 2...

Santosh said...

Nice post indeed....you could write about Rahul Dravid (probably in the same breadth as Sunil Gavaskar and Sanjay Manjrekar's)....SERIOUSLY WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL POST!!!

raven said...

This is MURDER!!! hansa hansa ke maar raha hai .... ricking .... can't stop laughing now

Anonymous said...

toooo much!! have been sitting in office and laughing like a fool !!

raven said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
raven said...

the answers aren't ever far... are they... this stopped the laughter: http://gautambastian.blogspot.com/2006/02/my-rope.html

RRandom said...

ROTFL!!!! Will remember the heroes from the past in a totally new light.....
excellent work :-)

anantha said...

Sidin: Kinda agree with Vindy there. You have not given mah man Kris He-who-was-once-kissed-by-naked-streaker Srikkanth his due. And I can suggest some more names if you wish for the next edition.

krishna kumar said...

I second the president motion. We all want more...

New Dik On The Blog said...

man! that was hilarious. thanx.

Sankalp said...

HILARIOUS! Do include Vinod Kambli and Javagal Srinath in the sequel.

Arun said...

Dude! I don't even watch cricket and I almost peed my pants laughing :)

Good one.

41

Ravi said...

ROTFL
And am surprised you didnt comment on Sanjay Manjrekar's commentry - about as interesting as Sansad Samachar on an empty stomach
Noodle

Mitesh Vasa said...

hahaha...what a hilarious post! pulling India back from the brink of complete disaster, taking them to mere comprehensive defeats

learned Hindi while playing for India, leading to an average of well over 4 run outs per match in the process

:-))

Anonymous said...

dude ur blog was suggested by Prof. Handa and have u outdone anything i have read before by miles.. Venkatesh Prasad was too funny -waiting for Part Deux !!!

Anonymous said...

A gutsy dig and incomparable humor.. btw u did miss on post-retirement Kris with mandira Bedi.

Partha said...

ROTFL!!! Godamned funny man!!

Anonymous said...

Seriously , I shouldnt have read this in Office :-) .... It is way too funny .
Sunil

Anonymous said...

What is Cricket anyway

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Really pro level. You should wise-crack for India.
Though IF I may quibble - the standard dropped a little after V. Prasad. Tail-ender syndrome?

Julius Seizure said...

Ridiculously funny! You should have no problem earning a living as a writer.

K.K. said...

Simply brilliant ! I am down with fever in the office and did not open my mouth much. But while reading this post I could not resist laughing :-) !

ashwin sundar said...

I am at office and thanks to you have started the day in a gr8 way...LOL!!! gr8 post..waiting for the sequel

dazedandconfused said...

Mebbe something's wrong with me but I have been reading your posts regularly (u r an inspiration!) and I like many of the others better.
Seems like you tried really hard on this one.
Peace people!

The elderly camel said...

corridor of uncertain tea - quite priceless!

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

i think u made a lotta ppl wet their pants in office today, killed them with laughter and the lot.

seriously, was in totally rotten mood til i read this.

part 2. part 2 !

Anonymous said...

sachin's juvenile voice?
oh the heavenly irony of it.
come on u can laugh at that.
good job sidin.

iw

MJ said...

you're killing me man. the prasad paragraph had me laughing my ass off. i've linked this entry at a couple of places (hope that's ok, you're gonna get a lot of hits).

Anonymous said...

dude.... u ROCK... amazing..great post... going to be another long lasting 'forward' chain of mails..

-Sps

Anonymous said...

I came to know it was a funny post, when i read about Sachin-"Even i cannot make fun of him".....lol....otherwise i cud have mistaken it for somebody penning down his nightware......

But it was unfair to Sachin.....

But i m still wondering (bot the post)....wat the hell it was...????

Prashanth said...

Ho ho ho...dont know when I'll stop laughing. And you took a topic close to the heart of most of us. Plain hilarious!
Awaiting the next part!

Hari, Hari, Arbitrary said...

Dude,
More respect to you, nobody should make fun of Sachin.

Awesome post, way to go!

I have a request. Why don't you extend this cricketer-bashing to include international cricketers as well?

Rameez Raja would be the ideal candidate, who speaks of how dedicated and sharp the Pakistani attack is, when they're getting hammered all over the place even by teams like Kenya and Bangladesh!

May the forces continue to be with you!

Hoga said...

idiyet .. you made me laaf my ass of at 2 in the morning almost waking up people who go to office at 6 am ....

Vikram H said...

LOL...LOL...One of the best satirical posts in a loooooooong time!!

Oneirodynic said...

God-o-god,Sidin,this is damn funny.Laughing all body parts out when you are hungry is the second most pleasurefilled experience after...well.


This one is classic.

Gavaskar became the captain of India in 1982 taking on the mantle from Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan, an accomplished cricketer himself, who retired from cricket in protest after it became mandatory to wear kits with one’s full name on the back.

Laxmi Bansal said...

Except for India's contribution to records and Venkatesh Prasad the rest was ok. Guess it has become fashion for people to come here and write how hilarious it was just to keep up with the joneses. Otherwise you are an extremely talented writer. Keep it up.

cloud9ine said...

oh my god, i have stomach and back pains from 10 mins of laughing and I can't do research for a week now...

Way to go, sidin.. way to go

Manish said...

Vekatesh Prasad was no where to be seen 1992 world cup. This is not to say that post was not hilarious!! Damn funny!!

Anonymous said...

i dont understand wat is so called humourous or hillareous or wat ever MOST BORING ARTICLE I EVER READ. WASTE OF 15 MINUTES

Sandeep said...

awesome fucking hilarious...and the mark of respect for GOD is appreciated.You are right.Nobody makes fun of Sachin:)

Anonymous said...

caricature prose at its best. Amazing mix of fact and fiction.
Great work Sidin.

Anonymous said...

Ahahahaha. This is just too funny. And you were right about the 'No one makes fun of Sachin' part. You would have been lynched had you done so. :)

ritzkini said...

:))))))))))))))))))))))))
you just made my day !
great one !

Aqua said...

you evil evil man. i laughed so much my insides and outsides are hurting :)

nirav said...

DAMN DAMN funny, this is right up there with the all time greats. Need to get a way to figure on the cricinfo's media surfer blogs.

No one i mean no one has been more humorous on indian cricket.

Looking forward to Javagal Srinath's write up

nirav said...

damn couldnt you put up some caricatures of these 'GREATS' alongside. would make it all the more hilarious.
Some RK Laxman stuff if available on the net

Squared said...

One of the best piece of hillarious AND original writing I have come across in blogs so far - and that too on cricket!! Just too good, man.

The Bangalore Torpedo said...

No one makes fun of Sachin.Not even you.Tsk tsk.Off the field anyones shenanigans are fair game.Have a free ferrari,mate.

Anonymous said...

great post! although i didn't understand the vishy stuff. Keep the series going, we have a long list of heroes.


P.S: sourav's absence conspicuous,
not again(or should it be another)!!

Pranav Bhandarkar said...

awesome post. A big cricket fan myself. totally loved it. Have a few cricket posts myself... though I dont promise to be as entertaining as u are. way to go..already waiting for the sequel... and "no one makes fun of sachin. not even me".. well said.

Pranav Bhandarkar said...

awesome post. A big cricket fan myself. totally loved it. Have a few cricket posts myself... though I dont promise to be as entertaining as u are. way to go..already waiting for the sequel... and "no one makes fun of sachin. not even me".. well said.

Anonymous said...

Man u shud write jokes for hindi movies. The tapori's will love ya!

Anonymous said...

Gundappa Vishwanath is not from Andhra. What ignorance. He has also now settled in Bangalore his hometown from day one. He has married Sunil Gavaskar's sister.Pl ger your facts right. except this slip Sidin is good humour.

Pratyush said...

Top effort. Such is the repetoire of the cricketers than most deserve complete profiles and not just 3-4 lines.

On Vishwanath. He was right handed. Either I didnt get a joke or you made a small error. Never mind either way.

And I appreciate your gesture of not making fun of Tendulkar.

Nitesh said...

Hilarious....looking forward to part 2 of this...

aniket said...

Dude I have quizzes tmrw. But after this I hv gotta read more of your posts....

______ said...

Sachin Tendulkar: No one makes fun of GOD. No human.

BRILLIANT !!!!!!

kaal_chakra said...

Hey Sidin,

Like Wine you get just get better and better with time! I just love your posts. I'm sure I'll see a novel written by you soon on the book stands (I want to see a sarcastic one full of humour :-) )

Kalyan

Pradeep said...

allowing for the fact that this piece is supposed to be a light read. Get some facts right.

Gundappa is NOT from AP.He is from Bangalore. A kannadiga born in Bhadravati in Karnataka.
http://www.cricketfundas.com/gvishwanath.html

And Gundappa is a 100% Kannada name, nothing "Tamil" about it.
Get your facts right.

SCARLETTTT said...

Red..Intresting stuff!.. Even tho i am so off cric

Vikram said...

I hope I dont have to sue you for the 'gut-fix' operation I may have to undergo. Truly hilarious,great one !!

Indian Bachelor said...

I can make fun of Sachin!

"hey! Sachin you have changed your car many times but why are you still using MRF radials for the LAST 10 YEARS???"
Duh! BECAUSE THEY ARE PAYING ME!!!!

what idiots!

Sachin = Madaaris monkey!
throw money at him and see him dance!

Vivek Manjeri said...

Loved the one on Sachin!

Vivek Manjeri said...

Loved the one on Sachin!!

Dhaval Shah said...

Great laugh... Waiting for more !

Quizman said...

LOL. Very nice. Btw, you forgot an illustrious cricketer in that list. Doddanarsaiah Ganesh - the man who invented the under duck balls.

The Graduate said...

Dude. You killed me. I'm going to be getting strange looks for weeks.

Although, of course, you forgot that Tendulkar is the great, great player who has more runs than anyone else in the ODI form of the game ...

Anonymous said...

Awesome!!

First few entries made me laugh very very hard and the entry on Sachin made me respect you even more. :)

Keep it up!

Salil said...

Hilarious stuff. I'd say more, but I'm in stitches after reading that.

bee said...

WOW , that was brilliant :))
"no one makes fun of Sachin,not even me" - truly appreciated :)

Neelakantan said...

i got this post over mail and the sender did not know "which blog this was from". That was easy, I thought, I reached your blog and there it was! Riproaring piece of writing.

Abdulla syed said...

****** Re - Readable *****

Anusha Parthasarathy said...

There's a myth that Kris Srikanth used to get "OUT" quickly in order to have a smoke...Not sure how true this myth is :)

Good one Sidin...:) Loved reading it !

Anonymous said...

sidin, to be very frank this one seemed like you were making an effort to be humorous, just didn't have the natural flow to it.

virdi said...

hey sidin,
start writing more... u inspire lots of useless and silly thoughts... ;-)

V..

Mangalorean said...

Gundappa Vishwanath was a right handed Karnataka born batsmen with a very rare pure Kannada name. Okay, the word in Tamil might also means the same. What the .... I think even in Malayalam it might mean the same(May be Gundappan...)

Since I don't expect you to make such lousy factual errors, I think you have hidden agenda against Kannadigas( the person you have singled out is again a Kannadiga, Venky). I think I know the reason after reading "...South Indian men".

monks said...

Respect for Tendulkar .. Highly apreciated..

Abt Kumble , I dont know why people still prefer to call him a leg spinner..

But kapil's english is not a problem .. he learnt it from Rapidex English Speaking Course...

Anonymous said...

Gr8 blog.. Had to hold my stomach to stop laughing, and that too when i am in office..

visited your blog for the first time and have already bookmarked it.. Gr8 going!!

sunnyvijay said...

Sidin,

very hilarious one. You have the rare ability to find humuour in everything. Great Job :-)

Anonymous said...

cooool man..too much to handle at a time...
waiting for nxt one..!!

Bombayite said...

awesome post...
take a bow dude...
cheers

Anand said...

Unbelievable dude!! Awesome post! Couldn't stop laughing all the way!

Anonymous said...

Are you distantly related to Darth Sideous?? ..
too good.. will definitely read other entries of yours .. wonder didnt spotted your blog earlier :D

Anonymous said...

Good reading - except for a few facts which you got wrong -> pointed out by other early bird readers

Bombay Addict said...

Dude - add another one to your already large fan-base. I also happen to be working with one of your seniors at IIM. If you've quit your job to write full-time you've clearly reached top-tier on Maslow's chart.

Looking forward to more stuff in more places.

Tabula Rasa said...

Ripping stuff. Linked the whole damn thing.

Supremus said...

ROFTLMAO!

Enuff said!

Anonymous said...

For the reading pleasure of all the audience of this blog,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_cricket

--Gops

Anonymous said...

Amazingly funny!!!! Hey Sidin, please please _please_ write more funny articles!

Pradeep said...

Honestly, I didnt like the nelson's in the number of comments on the cricket blog...hence this comment... Took me a while to gather myself from the splits u got me into from reading your post to posting this comment...
Little effort and job well done...Keep em coming
Taken liberties to post a link on my blog...

Oka the irrepressible said...

God level man.

SIMPLY GOD LEVEL !

Smitha said...

Oh My God!! I cant stop laughing even now!!!
was having a miserable day..this blog of yours so totally completely cahnged my mood!!Thanks!!:-)

shivang said...

it's awesome sidin!!!!!
my roomy is still giving me stares for i've been laughing like crazy!!!

d_grail said...

a friend had sent me ur link..and i av bee reading non stop for last 3 hours..only question y did u not take up writing earlier and go thru the rec-iim way...continue the good work..u made my day

tleilaxu said...

Dear Sidin,
You seem to be a highly respected individual among sex-deprived, academically proficient and "deliberately intellectual" racounters who keep ranting about your writing capabilities throughout the day. I usually, didn't give much thought to the hype, but I must confess, apart from the the whopping number of responses, the testimonials (which eventually, I would presume would be, helpful for those "oh so hep n happening" online marriage portals), the evidentally humor deprived "leno-letterman-imdb-iim-iit-cnbc-shirinbahn-java" enthusiasts...DAMN BOI...? do you have a life mr.sidin ?

HP said...

ROTFL....
Keep Blogging.

HP

PS: Read your articles in JAM, thought they were not upto the marks of some of your blog posts. Hope you will reach there..Best Of Luck Mate!!!

bowled said...

Sidin, Brilliant...

Dawn....सेहर said...

WOW...hillarious I must say... :) I dont know the first one but rest all cool ones...:D

Thanks to bombayite for giving me this link....Good sense of humor I must say

keep writing
Cheers

Radha Krishna. S. said...

Buddy, you rock!

Awwweeesomme post. Kept me laughing all thru.

Me couldn't help searching for Saurav though... ;-)

Radha.

Kanishka said...

Too much man!! I bow to thee, O great God of modern humor!!!

Cant cut paste portions of it that I liked as it would mean pasting the whole damn thing!

Nanda Kishore said...

Good stuff...

Why chicken out when it comes to Sachin? So much for irreverence...on the other hand, i can understand that you want to live ;)

Girish said...

Awesome post again..especially prasad, gavaskar and kapil ...way to go sidin ..

Differently Challenged said...

'Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan, an accomplished cricketer himself, who retired from cricket in protest after it became mandatory to wear kits with one’s full name on the back.'
Very funny stuff U have here.


Looking forward to part two!

Ashwin Vig said...

Awesomely funny post man!!!
waiting for the sequel...

Anonymous said...

I know you should be some F**kin Northie who does not know other than Tamil & tamil nadu in South India.
I dont know whats wrong within your ass you started criticizing people even without the facts being correct
Your bloggong is like barking if you think Venkatesh Prasad was palying 92 world cup,G.R.Vishwananth was from Andhra with tamil name take you d**k out it in some mad dogs mouth so that something can be reason for your madness
If you want to do somethign useful stop doing this & concentrate on others useful things.

Anonymous said...

wonderful man...keep it up

Mrinal said...

Amazingly funny!!
Thanks for writing this !

matz said...

awesome one Sidin....

goodwill hunting said...

GOOOD!!!!....reliving the memoies of the glorious past in the hope of an even better future !!

Anonymous said...

Awesome suff!!!

Anonymous said...

Always thought you were kind of overrated but this one looks more forced than ever...

Dont try so hard to be funny coz u naturally are....so describe ordinary, mundane things from your heart and what you write will turn out to be funny any which way...

Also, a sugggestion is not to get carried away.. just because this is what u do for a living now, does not mean u need to start comprising on quality...

.. a writer writes well when he writes from the heart.. dont lose the spontaneity..

This isnt papa preaching.. just some advice u may find useful

Anonymous said...

Good Lord, this is amazingly humourous. The BEST post i have read ever...waiting for the sequel

Ashwin

FoojZi said...

ROTFLMAO!!
In local IIMA lingo -> simply GOD level man!!

Anonymous said...

vishwanath was right handed but then every batsmen is right and left handed because they use both hands to hold the bat!!!

vsat said...

This is howlarious, I just can't stop laughing !

Can't wait to see part 2 !

Ramasubramaniam Srinivasan said...

Great Work Sidin.

Check out this link..you might be interested.
http://www.oxfordbookstore.com/oxfordonline/Services/eauthor4/

Ram

Ravi Chhedi Srinivasan said...

just too gud...!!! awesome wud be an understatement... sidin rawks....

has been said b4, but i'l say it again - waiting for d book :D

Anonymous said...

This is getting to be ridiculously addictive!! You are quite the 'drug pusher!' Bless you for that!

Anonymous said...

Incredible wit

Anonymous said...

Quite humourous

For yr kind information, GR Vishwanath is from Bangalore, not from Andhra pradesh.

Keep it up

confused said...

Awesome man....

Perhaps the funniest cricket post I have ever read....

Wonderful...

Keep rocking...

agsharma said...

you owe me money for the operation that I went through after splitting my sides with laughter. However, I will fore go the money for another post like this one!!!

Gautham said...

dude...hilarious man...n yes sachin is GOD...no one makes fun of him...

Gaurav said...

Hillarious. Now I see why you left your post IIM-A career.

IdeaSmith said...

LOL...I couldn't stop laughing or reading the next line. This despite being a sworn cricket-o-phobic. Was only disappointed over your comment (or lack) on 'aapla Sachin'.

krur singh said...

awesome post sidin..krur singh here..
hope u have awesome success with ur new career..

Suze said...

still laughing :) awesome prose!

Ankur said...

good one

Wunderkind said...

this was some of the most brilliant writing i've seen in a long time...i loved the post and will be back for the 2nd part!!

Anonymous said...

your sense of humor is well.. err.. um.. good.. yeah, thats i what I wanted to tell you.. Anyways include sourav dada in your subsequent version

Rahul Raj said...

:)))))))))))))) ROTFL

Anonymous said...

vishy was rite handed from karnatak or mebbe i missed sumthin....its funny u cudnt make fun of tendulkarbut I guess most ppz wud then have sent h mails ;)even after reading the disclaimer....in generall tho i was rofl

Suman said...

Good fun! But get your fact rights Sid. Gundappa Vishwanath is from Karnataka. Oh hell, actually who cares!?

noopsterama said...

I got this as an anonymous e-mail forward, more's the pity. Luckily, also happened to spot it on India Uncut as the "funniest post ever". Nice.

Venkatesh Prasad was great. I once commented to a cricket-crazy colleague that his main weapon was the "well disguised faster one". He laughed and laughed but noone of the 20 or so others I repeated it to found it as amusing. I guess this is the right forum to find a few like minds!

Some others, inspired by this post (yes I have included the Pakis as well!)

Maninder Singh
His collection of fine bats, all in excellent condition, rarely used, is the pride of Delhi. He took a lot of wickets with his unique brand of left arm spin and a strategy of bowling so slowly that most batsmen fell asleep waiting, only to wake to the ominous sound of a “howzzat”. He is unequivocally considered as India’s greatest spinner by every ex-cricketer by the name of Bishen Singh Bedi. Ravi Shastri once tried to put a supari on his head after being stranded at the other end with one to get in one too many matches. Enjoyed brief stints as umpire and TV commentator, the latter ending when too many people called DD’s helpline to complain of high-pitched whining emanating from their sets when he spoke.

Abdul Razzak
Abdul Razzak was once touted as Pakistan’s great white all-round hope, but that was before Imran Khan dismissed him as “too ugly”. His name is derived from the Persian phrase Abd ul Razd darr’haq ul Hind or “I play well only against India”. Nobody outside the subcontinent has any recollection of him, which makes digging up his records difficult. He has no known documented fans.

Saeed Anwar
His CIA nickname is “The Beard”. He once scored 194 runs in a match against India, 192 of which came off Venkatesh Prasad. He holds the dubious distinction of being the only person in the Pakistani team that was on speaking terms with Aamer Sohail, though their conversation was usually restricted to “Yes”, “No” and occasionally, “Aaj Friday hai miya, haar nahi sakte inn kafiron se”.

Mohammed Yousuf
His full name is Mohammed Narayan Yitzhak Yousuf, TAFKAY (the artist formerly known as Yohanna). Converted to Islam after attending a moving motivational session organized by captain Inzamam ul Haq titled “The team that prays together, loses together”. Shares a room with Danish Kaneria on tour, whom he affectionately calls “Mohammed”.

Anonymous said...

Awesome man! Couldnt stop laughing out alone, with the risk of others taking me to b a nerd who loves to laugh at the comp scrn.Keep up the good work

Jibran Ilyas said...

Excellent read; totally worth the time. I am still laughing :D :D
You are right when you say "No one makes fun of Sachin"

GOOD JOB

Anonymous said...

Good article, but G. Vishwanath is not from Andhra but from Karnataka. He is also not a left hander but Right hander!!!

boogersdelhidiaries said...

i had to be taken to the hospital cause i spread my entrails all over the floor after my belly got ripped while laughing. Now i'm cleaning up the floor.

Ram said...

I truly am a novice when it comes to Cricket. But every line of that blog was funny.

Toney said...

Awesome post, Sidin. You made my day.

Deepak said...

Hi Sidin,
I am at gurgaon and came to know about this blog from India Uncut.You rock.I am going to add you in my roll of fame with scott adams(dilbert),boing boing,J V Rajan and amit varma.you'll be 5th and my favourite.

Shrutz said...

..Laughing all the way to Chinnaswamy Stadium ;)

Bindu said...

Oh My!! What do you have against Venkatesh Prasad?

But you forgot one thing. Venkatesh Prasad was the only guy and will ever be the only guy who can try for a run after giving the ball to the keeper..
Gutso guy!! :)

Scribbler said...

sar, you are my new favourite cricket guru!

Suhel Banerjee said...

had this been a little funnier and you would be blamed for turning the art of blogging into a violent way of killing people!!

Anonymous said...

noopsterama

are you saying that a cartoon on danish kaneia would be inappropriate as it might be blamed by people in copenhagen as well as followers of mohammed?

Anonymous said...

did you know that srinivasaraghavan venkataraghavan's real name is srinivasa venkata? but that does not rhyme, does it?

Anonymous said...

"p.s. Before anyone gets worked up I know they were all brilliant cricketers and all this is just a joke. Except of course in case of Venkatesh Prasad. So please relax. And dont send hate mail please..."

o jokester, do you recommend that cartoonists - especially danish ones - carry this reference in the future? would it save their ass, neck or head or some other body part? or would you advocate that we indians stop worshipping our cricketers, including the said prasad or not?

Anonymous said...

Gundappa vishwanath is from Karnataka and he was a right handed batsman. Get the facts right

Dipen Sangurdekar said...

I bought the Anil Kumble game too! Still have it with the receipt and original packing material. Where can I get a refund?

Anonymous said...

Awesome .... u rock dude !!!

Anonymous said...

Great post Dude. Not sure how you got this style. I would love to be in your shoes. Is this your post too?

http://mindmouse.blogspot.com/2006/02/travails-of-indian-celibate.html


Cheers
Mark

small talk said...

cool funny post. but you've got some of your facts wrong, buddy.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, for Sachin...you could at least write 'The Man with the Steel Underwear....thats why he keeps adjusting it all the time' :-)

Anonymous said...

ultimate JUNK. If you surf a little bit, u will find better jokes! dont waste time on this

kannan udayarajan said...

hey sidin....

first time here...awesome posts...you really whacky...

Im linking you...

:))
cheers
Kannan

Tarun said...

awesome post man. couldnt stop laughing..my supervisor had this weird look on his face and when i forwarded this to him, even he couldnt control his laughter..

just small piece of info..
vishwanath was from karnataka nd a right handed batsman, while imran khan retired in 1992 after the world cup and venkatesh prasad was not on the international scene especially not during the 1992 world cup.

still hilarious

Lahar said...

Your fan following badly needs a life. Please give us more stuff like " Single South Indian Men", instead of this piece that blasphemes my religion :-)

Balkrishna said...

Hey Sidin,
Do I detect the spirit of Douglas Adams in here? Do you hitchhike across the galaxy?

I think my funny bone just cracked.

Thanks............

Anonymous said...

awesome :))

Anonymous said...

Sidin~
Thou art the greatest!!
Smitten by the drudgery of compiling my thesis and defending within the improbable space of the next 4 weeks, I chanced across your blog - if I dont shut down this browser window RIGHT NOW and move off, I think the girl sitting across me in the computer lab today, will have me thrown out of this library for grinning, guffawing and chuckling every few seconds .... honestly, the first time I read the "travails of the South Indian men", I managed to send some snot up my brain .....

You've given me a new lease of humor in these dark dreary days ..... there is hope and there is a tomorrow and I WILL graduate !!!!

PSR Chaitanya said...

Today is 23rd and Sidin will be here in DAIICT on 25th to conduct the annual quiz -HEADRUSH


So, ppl who haven't booked their tickets..Go rushhhhhh

JAYDED said...

Dude...i dunno if you are aware of this but your blog has reached corporate circles now...people are taking time outs because of aching stomachs and jaws(aching cos they read your blog!).....
I for one, short of rolling on the floor, could be heard cubicles away!
Hilarious would be an understatement!!!....keep it up and get that sequel done fast!!

P.S. Try Dalmiyas.....hes "more than just a cricketer"!!!

Nithin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nithin said...

Been a regular reader of ur blogs...but this simply has to b the best one yet!!! Rock on Sidin!!

Sandeep said...

Awesome.. don't forget to include dear man Sidhu post criketing career

Gulam Hasan said...

ROTFL!!!!!LOL nice post dude...waitin for the next part....N YES NOBODY MAKES FUN OF SACHIN TENDULKAR...

Anonymous said...

Hilarious post dude .. we had a office full of folks rolling over with laughter. Keep it up dude!
Sourav

Harsha said...

Mind Blowing... Am just laughing my A$$ off...

I laughed so hard...I cried..

Am in office right now and people around me and looking at me like I am creature from mars...

Sreejith said...

i actually fell out of my chair while reading this one :) great going sidin. You make us mallus feel proud :D

Sameera said...

ROTFL sidin

keep up the awesome work

u rock

D Saint Himself said...

sidin, You just made the thing so funny. The funny truth. Good that you did not comment on Sachin. He is the best

Nazim.k said...

gr8 1 dude, waitin for d sequel

Nazim.k said...

gud 1 dude, waitin for d sequel

Anonymous said...

Bhai Sahab,ye post likhkar mar gaye kya?? Ya ise baaki zindagi niharte rahenge..

krishnez said...

Loved the line on Manjrekar's technique...

abhishek said...

will not hear any words of dishonour against v...e..n..k....a...t..e..s..h
p..r..a.aa hh yawn.
He was although a precisely mediocre dropper of the ball ..but he ...he was the only one who used to demonstrate by glares ,for the team the extent to which he was miffed and pissed after getting clobbered.

Anonymous said...

dude where have u disappeared? and that too after the assurance about more frequent updates!

raj

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