Thursday, June 15, 2006

Come rhyme our nation to progress...

The rhyme now has a reason!!!

I was thoroughly overjoyed to read recently that we have liberated our little little (nanhe munhe) children from the tyranny of western influence. Or at least the Madhya Pradesh government has. I hope this is just the beginning of a long series of reforms in our education system. The time is undoubtedly right; for too long we have stuck to the age old norms of reading writing and arithmetic. Today we know that this alone is insufficient to guarantee success in our society. In fact this is not even important in the larger scheme of things.

I encourage each and every reader of this blog to applaud this move. But this alone is not enough. We Indians tend to give our MORAL support to each and every cause but actually do little to further the cause or even help the champions of the cause to make any money. This is abominable.

I have decided to openly support this noble (Nobel?) initiative of the MP government by kick-starting the process of scripting nice, ek dum desi, and patriotic nursery rhymes. I encourage all readers of this blog to add to this short list with their own educative yet home-grown examples of nursery-ready lyric.

Rhyme Number 1: (Baa baa black sheep)
Aaa Aaa Arjun
Have you any a seat?
First you tell me
Your community!

22.5% for SC/ST
27% for OBC
And the rest for the forwards
Who will soon live on the street.

Rhyme Number 2: (Johnny Johnny)
Mika Mika
Yes papa
Hosting party?
No papa
Kissing item girl?
No papa!
I saw it on TOI cover
Ha ha ha

Rhyme Number 3: (Rain rain)
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
Johnny Josesph wants to play

Rhyme Number 4: (Mary had a little lamb)
Rahul had a little coke
A little speed, a little hash
Rahul had a little coke, the stuff was white as snow
And everywhere that Rahul went
Rahul went, Rahul went
And everywhere that Rahul went, Sahil was sure to blow

Rhyme Number 5: (Row row row)
Sing, sing, sing through your nose
And wear a stupid cap
All the autos play your stuff
But you mostly sound like crap

Rhyme Number 6: (Jack and Jill)
My Chennai aunty always stood in line
To fetch a pail of water
She hoped things would change post-election
Instead of water she got free television

As you can see there is infinite potential to make nice bharateeya poetry for our young ones to learn in school. I encourage all of you readers to generously contribute to this just cause and help in the betterment of our education system. Please leave your nation-changing poetry in the comments... this is your chance to make a difference...

The best contributions will be published in Hafta to much… er… fanfare…

65 comments:

Promoting da said...

Knew of a Rhyme when i was in school!

Jingle Bell Jingle Bell
What the Bludy Hell
Santa Claus Lost his Balls
In the Bludy Well!!!

I've done my contribution.. But will kids, in the generations to come, screw Santa Claus as well..?? Jus have to wait & c that..

Ninnions

anantha said...

Oh wait, I knew one rhyme when I was in school. This is how it goes -

Open the door..
darling, open the door..
why are you angry so..

(..repeat..)

I will take you up the mountain,
and show you..

...errr...

Ooops, this was when I was in undergrad! Sorry, wrong time, wrong place for this rhyme, lest your discerning readers revolt! ;)

anantha said...

Btw, the above mentioned "rhyme" was to be sung in the tune of "Suraangani"! Aah, those days when poets reigned!

Connor's Corner said...

Nice ones... not bad... :-))

silverine said...

Hilarious!!! :))

Neelu said...

Based on Twinkle Twinkle

Bujh gaya bujh gaya desh ka tara,
Politicians ne to satya nash mara,
SC/ST nahin hai hum to,
Lena hoga janam dobara.

Rohit said...

Enchanting :)

Anonymous said...

Sidin, I was expecting a hilarious post like this one for a long time. Thanks for posting one. ROFL :-)

rachana said...

Nice post....

Deppe said...

toe, toe, toe the line
say only things to please modi
or merrily merrily merrily merrily
he's gonna ban your new movie

Deep said...

How cud I let this pass! Ok this is as original as it gets, and what better inspiration than the world's greatest joke-book himself :)

George and Dick
went up the oil creek
to fetch WMD and nuclear reactor
George fell down
and made of himself a clown
and Dick came gun-totting after.
Up got George,
and the clown deeply thought
what made this plan a cropper
He went to bed
all mixed up in his thick head
regretting his dumb faux pas.

Anonymous said...

Old One but a classic at that..

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water;
Heaven knows what they did,
They came back with a daughter!

Pradeep

The Chosen One said...

there shud be a limerick contest on this page
just to see how many in cyberspace need to be in a cage
behind bars along with sahil zaroo
let's all count the nuts outside the zoo

Anonymous said...

Budhia on a frantic run
Come rain or shine
Biranchi perched on a moped
Screaming 'fun fun fun!'

What the hell! said NHRC
We dont like this!
Now runs like mad, Biranchi
To get Budhia's medicals done

Pradeep

Happy-Go-Lucky said...

Johnny Johnny (Mika Mika) was a real gem!

Great Stuff!

Anonymous said...

Hi sidin,
its been a while since i last visited your blog. You still rock!

aparna k. said...

Besides mockery, did you know that Nursery rhymes are totally valueless! "Ring-o Ring-o Roses..." was actually written as a means to convey the the meaning of Plague (black death). It is shameful and a little too sad that little children are taught these rhymes!

I would rather teach my children Avvaiyar and Valluvar!

Anonymous said...

22.5% for SC/ST
27% for OBC
And the rest for the forwards
Who will soon live on the street.

And the rest is not thoroughly for the FORWARDS Sir! Rest is OPEN quota which again includes SC/ST and OBC in it. :( I assume you people know the difference in using those 2 words Forward and Open quota.

So, ungaL paattil poruL kutRam irukkirathu!!

Ekta said...

hah!
Hilarious piece!
Loved the Mika one..think am actually gonna start singing it!;-)

Pearl said...

:)) (can't stop laughing at these rhymes!!!)

Aslan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aslan said...

u have non-desi nursery rhymes also. what the heck might as well add somethin arbit. herez a forward i got. its a corruption of hotel c for mals:

On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here

His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar,I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray

Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies

The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman,
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down

God's Own Country? Oh, Hell!


The Yeagles

Harsha said...

Time and time again you beat your own best. Is your book out? Who's the publisher and whats the name of the book? Cant wait to read...

I totally watch this space. Those rhymes made my day.

Malvika said...

Ok Here is one to the tune of
Hickory, dickory, dock,...

Hickory, dickory, snort,
The trio sniffed up the coke.
The coke struck one.
The others came clean,
Jittery, Jittery, thanking family, friends and Doc.

Malvika said...

This is fun, Heres another one
This time its Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall....

BSE, NSE, Sat on a street wall
BSE, NSE had a great fall.
All the Dalal's Blue chips and all the Dalal's men
couldn’t wipe out the RED altogether again!

Rohan said...

Jack haur Jill
Paadi uthe gaye
Bharan Paani Di Baalti
Jack neeche dig peya
Maatha odda phat gaya
Jill bhi ludakdi aa gaayi

Salil said...

The wheels on the rickshaw go round and round,
round and round, round and round,
The wheels on the rickshaw go round and round...
etcetera

Hilarious stuff, Sidin.

Pritika Gupta said...

like th jhonny-jhonny and malvikas BSE NSe..

Malvika said...

This is addictive...
Ok Last one pacca,heres a rendition of 'An apple a day...

A strike a day,
Keeps the doctor away.
Strike in the morning
Ramadoss's warning
Anti Quota strikes, day and night
starves the doctor outright
Ramadoss’s anger in the red.
Knock the doctor on the head
Strike each day, seven days a week, no work, no reap…

inane_insane said...

nice blog....

me tooo a new blogger

blog.360.yahoo.com/defonce_prep_vie

tell me waat u thnk...

qwerty said...

In college we used to sing this one rhyme

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your mum's so pretty,
What happened to you?

It got everyone's goat...

CuriousMoron said...

Nice ones. :))

Narayanan said...

it is defnitely a nice way to carry the message to genaration next to get them to whats happening in the country.

really a excellent post

Shobha said...

Oh my god...Hilarious....HAHAHAHHAA

pavan kumar said...

:) nice creativity..

Dilip Ahuja said...

HaftaMag is not too bad. I enjoyed reading some of the articles, except Venkatesan's! Why on Earth did you allow him to write in such bad language. It's disgusting. And his gramaticcal errors, oh GOd!

If you want the mag to do well, please invest time in reading thro articles before posting them up. As a publisher myself, take this as strong advice. Another advice - take people like Venkatesan out of the writer's team!

Sandesh said...

Here's my contribution...

Arjun Arjun Super Star
Everyone wonders what you are
You raised reservation all so high
Puting meritocracy in the sty

Riggs said...

'Rhyme Number 5: (Row row row)
Sing, sing, sing through your nose
And wear a stupid cap
All the autos play your stuff
But you mostly sound like crap'

The best of the lot. How long did it take you to come up with this stuff?

Laughed so hard, I got hungry again.

PSR Chaitanya said...

Funky post. LOL.

maya varghese said...

a LAMENT BY BOLLYWOOD'S BEST SELLING UPPER TORSO

baa baa black buck
oh i have been such a fool

yes saar! yes saar! cry three bags full
one for wriggling giggly Ash
one for Cruising on pavement dwellers
and one for shooting at our little buck who used to live down the lane

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Two consecutive posts in two very different styles, both very good indeed. I salute you, sir.

But you really should have some castor oil on tap for readers like Aparna K. And maybe a few beers for Aslan.

IndianArchie said...

By the way, did you know that even in England, 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' got into trouble with some politically correct types? They want the rhyme changed to 'Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep'.

More here.

IndianArchie
Musings that Amuse

IndianArchie said...

Oh and one more report on the same.

An excerpt:

The children will be asked to sing "sad," "blue," "pink," "black," "white," "happy," "hopping," and "bouncing" when describing the sheep to encourage the children to extend their vocabulary and use up energy.

IndianArchie
Musings that Amuse

rachana said...

"chubby chicks------" goes like this--
"casual dress and blue turban,
lost words so keeps mum.
An economist and humble man,
By default he is in political lane.
"-----" pet,who is that??
PM,PM, PM..

shivangi said...

mika mika was real good...i had also recently written about this mika-rakhi story on my blog..
btw i am in ISB, disha rustogi's friend..got to know your blog from her...
have bee reading regularly..coool stuff !!

Vikas.Y.V said...

Hilarious!! Mika Mika and Aa Aa Arjun was awesome!!
well, I cant think of a rhyme but I have a song..

Sambhar of 69

I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah

standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

Back to the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting killed,
I was full and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever - FOREVER... NO!!!!

And now the dhabas are changing,
new dishes have come and gone,
sometimes when I pass that old madrasi lane, I still smell it, I can't be wrong.

Standing in those unwashed clothes,
the waiters still call me in there,
oh the way my nostrils burn,
I know that it will be served forever,
what was the worst food of my life.

yeah it was the sambhar of 69,

the sambhar, the sambhar, the sambhar of 69

mental baba said...

That was an amazing post.

How about this take on Solomon Grundy?

insert average_lok_sabha_mp
Extorted on a Monday,
Raped on Tuesday,
Assaulted on Wednesday,
Murdered on Thursday,
Rigged polls on Friday,
Elected on Saturday,
Buried the Lok Sabha on Sunday.
That was the end of
Indian Democracy.

The variable average_lok_sabha_mp may be assigned any one of the constants from the following set of elements:

{Pappu Yadav, Md Shahabuddin, Raja Babu, Shibu Soren....}

Anonymous said...

After 3 issues, you have finally proved that you can't run a good magazine, and have no clue as to what on Earth you are doing!

mathew said...

nice one dude!!..maybe u can be a consultant for the MP govt!!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha!!Been rollin on the floor laughin for the past half hour!

----Big fan of this blog;not a big fan of haftamag!!

Sameera said...

sidin

lolllllll

awesome post
u got most of the current affairs all down to one post fulla nursery rhymes

wah wah

Maya Cassis said...

hahah that was too good.have to teach them kids some new stuff from here.;)

Rose said...

ROFTL.. :DDD

Psssst.. (Jst b/w u and me).. I almost peed in my pants laughing..

;)

..Me

Jaycee said...

u shud be put under study..
how on earth do u get these ideas..
hilarous

Jaya said...

LOL...that was too much fun dude! Laughed till I cried.. Loved the one on himesh, and the one on the reservations!and Mika and chennai aunty were too hilarious as well! And since u were kind enuff to provide the rhyme references, I actually sang along as I read..and got the complete experience..Haha..(Sounds like Phoebe's songs in friends!!)u ROCK re.. made my day!

Gulam Hasan said...

LMAO...awesome stuff man...
"Aaa Aaa Arjun" ROTFL

dharmu said...

made my day!!! its a good collection,

cheers to all the contributors!!!

Dh@v@! said...

good one yar...
MiKa wali too good....

Sujay Sukumar said...

lovely!!!

Aslan said...

XML Parse Error sir.. your feed does not load. So I dunno when you're upd8d which is baaad. France going strong. You must be happy. Viva Zizu.

chill said...

Hey Sidin
this one was great fun to read..this is my first comment on ur blog,.. its been a great reading - saving me during those endless days at work..

meanwhile, heres a desperately conjured up piece from me..

that ronaldo tries to dive in air
dive in air dive in air
that ronaldo tries to dive in air
and gets an oscar for his fall

Anonymous said...

Here is it for mulberry bush...

Here we go round george bush,
george bush,george bush,
Here we go round george bush..im stuck here someone help

Di said...

too gud... [applause..]

Ektz said...

Himesh reshmia one was the coolest! damn! love those all!

But himesh reshmia one still makes me laugh!:D

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