Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Steal Resolve

Good afternoon everyone.

Being the multifaceted personality that I am, I am often approached by readers for all sorts of assistance. Several of you have requested help with losing weight, speaking Hindi without an accent and starting businesses in South Africa.

Well not really. But a relative recently was asked to go to SA on work and had a merry adventure trying to get a visa done. After months of effort and several phone calls and faxes the South African Visa Gods finally smiled down upon on him (or 'up upon him' geographically speaking.) He was jumping for joy when he received an email from the 'Visa-fixer type people' in Johannesburg.

He immediately clicked forward and zipped it out to everyone in his personal address book. We were all happy for him and promptly deleted the email.

Then suddenly he mailed us another copy with a request to read till the very end of the correspondence. You should do too. I have pasted it below. "Oh my god that is so hilarious, it makes me laugh so much" is the first word that popped into my mind when I read it:

(P.S. Ah those days when you can blog with so little effort.)
(P.P.S. More accounts from people in SA are welcome!)
(P.P.P.S. I know. Hehehe. Funny.)


Dear *****,
We are pleased to advise that the Consulate General in Mumbai has indicated that your Work Permit application has been approved and you can collect your passport from them tomorrow morning.

Please remember to scan and e-mail us a copy of your permit, prior to your departure to South Africa.

Thank you & best regards,

**** *****
* ******* * ********
Registered Immigration Practitioner: ****/****/****
Telephone: 0861 IMMIGRATION (0861 *** ****)(NATIONAL)Telephone: +27 (11) ***-**** (Switchboard)
Fax: +27 (11) ***-***
Cell Phone: +27 (83) ***-****
www.*******.co.za

Office Address:
******* House
Ballywoods Office Park
29 – 33 Ballyclare Drive
Bryanston
Johannesburg

Please note that our telephone systems are down at the moment due to the theft of the Copper Wire Cables in our area over the weekend. Telkom (the phone company) has assured us they are working on replacing
the cables as soon as possible. Should you need to contact us, please contact ******** ***** on ***********.


For our international clients, please understand that the theft of Copper Wire Cables happens frequently in South Africa and causes great inconvenience to businesses.

30 comments:

Spacewoman Shilp said...

ROFL!! :D

Sunita said...

That was really hillarious!!!

when is your book going to hit the stands?? just curious :)

Anonymous said...

You've got a pretty cool blog out there.
Would love if you could check out mine.

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Adios, bro.

Kusum Rohra said...

Its hilarious, I still can't belive that is a peice of official correspondence :D

And we thought humour was left at the mercy of the chosen few like you.

silverine said...

But it is so true, our office in SA has similar problems..copper is expensive!!! But hilarious nonetheless :))

Hiren said...

Reminds me of another similar chori.

I used to work for a lighting company earlier. Some of our competitors were supplying aluminium ballasts in the guise of copper ballasts. Each to his own, I guess. Variety is the spice of life.

Bharat Jhurani said...

wOnderful dude.. nd is the SA thin true??? jus kiddin!!

inkognito said...

ROFTL!!

Anonymous said...

in ahmedabad

and this is about 5 years ago.. when we first got cable internet rival companies would cut each others cables ....

could be something similar, mayb Telekom's competitor decided that some competition was good for the country :)

Hoga

JuiceMeUp said...

Boy! it sounds like a notice of confidentiality message which we use nowadays for data integrity. Come to think of it copper wire cables is a lucrative business.

Riggs said...

At least they were honest about it, heh heh.

In our desh, we would have spent hours trying to call a number that said 'all lines on this route....'

OR

Even worse, having gotten through, would be told 'Sorry saar, no concerned person is there'

Anonymous said...

U fucking fat half mallu-half niger, what so funny about copper wires being stolen, copper is an expensive metal..
Moreover, whats there to blog if your some fucking mallu uncle has got a job as a ward boy in the municipal hospital of south africa !
Give me a break with your fucked up postings.

Anonymous said...

Is this true ? Do they actually print their condition in such great detail on their letters ?

Anonymous said...

not funny really..will luk forward to the next one..

Anonymous said...

To the anonymous poster who hates this blog:

It's a free world...Nobody asked you to come to this blog to read...stay away if you don't like it.
Your comment is as silly as saying "I don't like brinjal....therefore, it should not be grown by anybody else"!!!

vipin said...

:-)

Mosilager said...

happens often in Zambia too... fact of life. The funny thing was that they put an advertisement on national TV telling people that stealing copper cables was illegal... it aired along with the advertisement warning people against rumour mongers or 'demagogues'.

Gulam Hasan said...

" We were all happy for him and promptly deleted the email."
LMAO =))

sopeti said...

"We were all happy for him and promptly deleted the email."

ROFL :D
Great Sidinism there again...

Anonymous said...

Huhuhu
Couldn’t laugh at all.
I live in Johannesburg and its been an year.
You require psychological consulting if you read news24 a popular daily in SA daily, its all filled with crime stories, happening just around the corner.
There were serial killings on the offramp just near to my home, 2 people killed in 2 weeks 2 attempts, just for the cellphones.
My car's window was smashed and my wifes handbag was grabbed in the daylight…we couldn’t do anything but scream.
Highway shootings and car hijackings are as common as Hindi film release in India.

Car hijackings are so common. Never offer lifts, never stop, no matter where, even on highways.

Avoid late night outings, avoid strangers, never publicly show money, be watchful when you come from the Airport, forigners are often followed and shot at , especially when they come from Airport (I don’t know why, may be with the anticipation that they have lots of forex)

SA is the country with the second highest possibility that a civilan can get shot dead , second only to Columbia.
The chances are 50 times more than that of the poorest and unsafest place in Europe.

AK 47s are freely available to thugs, leftovers of the violent resistance to the Whites rule…now they are toys for the criminals.
Restaurants and Malls are often attacked by ak47 wielding people, the customers are stolen of their cars, wallets and cellphones.
I am not mentioning rape. If you have a lady in the family and the thugs had a chance to break into your house, your life's most probably ruined. All the houses have burglar bars, alarms, just reminds one of the jails.

The point is most of these criminals come through illegal immigration from SA's poor neighbours and often used by crime syndicates headquartered, may be in Europe or Asia.

So dear Sidin, stealing cables are OK, there are uglier things to be more concerned at, without laughing.
Give a warning to your friend to be utmost careful while in SA.

Don’t go to cheap pubs. Chances are high that you will wake up in a bathtub filled with ice and your kidney might be missing.

Gayathri said...

My friend living in Johannesburg lost his car that was standing right in front of his house. In the daytime.

Peppered Soul on Ice said...

Solution: SA should go WIRELESS. Like those Tata and Reliance WLL phones.

Question: How on earth do they manage to get the cables out without anyone noticing????

By the way, have any of you seen that new anti-car jacking invention? The one that blasts the car-jacker with a blast of flame when the driver presses a small pedal? Scary stuff. And thousands have already been ordered and fitted.

I'm just wondering how they manage to get all that copper wire out without being noticed. I'm guessing there

Anonymous said...

TO deter the theft of copper wires, I think they should move to wireless systems ;-) LOL

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strangs said...

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http://www.indiatravelroute.com/?channel=rgxblog&adgroup=sidin.blogspot It’s an awesome luxury travel to India package!! The finest ever!! I came across this when I was browsing the other day.. very kewl and neat! I think what the focus on is luxuary travel.. u know, the complete package et all!! A must see if ur a real travel fan!! And India too.. it’s an awesome place!! Especially with the palaces and stuff, it’s like taking a step back in time!!..with all the comforts of modern day!! (whew!)

Cheers

strangs said...

Hi…nice site…very informative… you know what u should check out actually.. this site :

http://www.indiatravelroute.com/?channel=rgxblog&adgroup=sidin.blogspot It’s an awesome luxury travel to India package!! The finest ever!! I came across this when I was browsing the other day.. very kewl and neat! I think what the focus on is luxuary travel.. u know, the complete package et all!! A must see if ur a real travel fan!! And India too.. it’s an awesome place!! Especially with the palaces and stuff, it’s like taking a step back in time!!..with all the comforts of modern day!! (whew!)

Cheers

Jay Sun said...

Was laughing hilariously, and then when I got to read some of the comments, realized that life is pretty tough out there… particularly the comments by the guy living in Johannesburg.

Also, am I right in thinking that the same guys who lay the cable, would be the ones who would be able to remove and dispose the cable…

Jay Sun said...

Was laughing hilariously, and then when I got to read some of the comments, realized that life is pretty tough out there… particularly the comments by the guy living in Johannesburg.

Also, am I right in thinking that the same guys who lay the cable, would be the ones who would be able to remove and dispose the cable…

Anubhav said...

It was funny and at the same time it reflected a rather painful issue within the human society - Complacence.

It plays a huge part in repeating our mistakes and taking the bad and then the worse next.

Look at the following paragraph which is a result of just a few "Find and replace" actions on the last paragraph of your post.

"Please note that our social systems are down at the moment due to the explosion at the major public places in our area over the weekend. The government (the phone company) has assured us they are working on repairing
the structures as soon as possible. Should you need to contact us, please contact ******** ***** on ***********.

For our international clients, please understand that the explosion at major public places structures happens frequently in India and causes great inconvenience to human life"

----
Isn't it suprising and shocking? Complacence does make life worse and we should all try to defy it as and when possible...

Gopal said...

I thought you were kidding first. Then I yahoo-ed to find this link, http://allafrica.com/stories/200609050748.html